A Mortician’s “Somber” Reflections **, Free-verse Options

[Ali zonak]

A Mortician’s “Somber” Reflections **

Cradle to grave, the destiny of man
is one from which there’s no escape
Born he was without teeth in his gums,
now it is the tooth of time that tears and gnaws.

Aging gracefully? Oh, such fleeting dream;
man finds himself a prisoner of old age.
Dogs may grow old without showing their age--
some ancient ones still run, but this one lies still.

Look--this shadow of man, once stout, his legs
are withered, stiff; the skin hangs loose
and saggy like that of a plucked goose;
his neck would be too weak to hold the head erect.

Once he was a youth with a full head of hair,
but now, one finds only one or two, maybe here
or there, not worthy of clippers and shears--
except for those bristles in nose and ear.
Well--at last he is beyond all earthly care,
yet I serve him by doing what I do best--
Hot diggity dang! Doesn't that guy looks great?

[Larry]

Hello Ali,

I don't come into the Seren's Synapse hall at MM very often because I write/critique little if any free verse pieces. I couldn't help noticing the exchange with Daniel here and won't add anything on this thread which Daniel hasn't covered pertaining to form poetry.

I did notice you posted your comment about my not replying to your Short Rondeau about this and that at around 7:00 am this morning. I posted a reply to your "Short Rondeau" over in Karnak at 9:01 yesterday pertaining to the "tiny nits" I mentioned. As I said there, you are free to write anything you wish and hope you did not take umbrage with what I said. Apparently you did! My "erroneous statement" pertaining to the two tiny errors in your post has been blown way out of proportion. I did offer a statement regarding the tetrameter comment and if you had read my reply from yesterday before going of on me in another forum this morning, you would have seen that explanation.

Sorry you feel this is an "Elitist Site". I don't and never have found it to be of that ilk. It is, to me, one of the few that will give honest and concise critique to the depth the writer requests. All such critique is given in a "take-or-toss" vein and any decision for change is entirely up to the writer.

I do hope you will stay around and find out the "truth" about MM and the few denizens left here. We are here to help!

Larry

[Ali zonak]

Hello Ali,

I don't come into the Seren's Synapse hall at MM very often because I write/critique little if any free verse pieces. I couldn't help noticing the exchange with Daniel here and won't add anything on this thread which Daniel hasn't covered pertaining to form poetry.

I did notice you posted your comment about my not replying to your Short Rondeau about this and that at around 7:00 am this morning. I posted a reply to your "Short Rondeau" over in Karnak at 9:01 yesterday pertaining to the "tiny nits" I mentioned. As I said there, you are free to write anything you wish and hope you did not take umbrage with what I said. Apparently you did! My "erroneous statement" pertaining to the two tiny errors in your post has been blown way out of proportion. I did offer a statement regarding the tetrameter comment and if you had read my reply from yesterday before going of on me in another forum this morning, you would have seen that explanation.

Sorry you feel this is an "Elitist Site". I don't and never have found it to be of that ilk. It is, to me, one of the few that will give honest and concise critique to the depth the writer requests. All such critique is given in a "take-or-toss" vein and any decision for change is entirely up to the writer.

I do hope you will stay around and find out the "truth" about MM and the few denizens left here. We are here to help!

Larry

Thank you both, Larry and Daniel;
we should let this be "Water under the ridge." Easy to laugh and easy to cry, I will dip in and cool off. Bye, Gents. Ali