Short Rondeau about this and that., a a, b b, etc. Options

[Ali zonak]

Hi all!

Oh Gad, this site is nearly dead,
yet sweeter than the one I’d fled;
I must lament Australia Times
that often rang this poet’s chimes.
To Maureen fond wishes I extend—
though incognito, yet as friend.
I want to greet you, noble band,
as I return from foreign land,
i.g. a site that (to me) is dead.

[Larry]

Hi Ali,

Glad to see you over here in Karnak joining in on the fun Daniel and I have been having. We usually do not critique these posts unless necessary when parameters are overstepped. You might go back to the first of the string to review the rules of the Short Rondeau. You did get away from tetrameter in your post and you did not end it with a small portion of the beginning of the first line.

This is just a FYI. If you want to join in on the string, welcome.

Larry

[Ali zonak]

Hi Ali,

Glad to see you over here in Karnak joining in on the fun Daniel and I have been having. We usually do not critique these posts unless necessary when parameters are overstepped. You might go back to the first of the string to review the rules of the Short Rondeau. You did get away from tetrameter in your post and you did not end it with a small portion of the beginning of the first line.

This is just a FYI. If you want to join in on the string, welcome.

Larry

Hi Larry;
I'm confused. Why would my "short rondeau" be completely flawed, beginning with the absence of tetrameter? Unless I'm tone deaf, it's written in iambic tetrameter (four feet, or 8 syllables) with an unavoidable accent clinker that is the prerogative of the writer? (ta TUM ta TUM ta TUM ta TUM. Some variation is allowed. An extra or missing syllable may be tolerated, and an occasional reversal of the ta TUM pattern (to TA tum) is common, even desirable as a way to avoid monotony. An example of four lines of tetrameter is the first stanza of the introduction to Milton,by William Blake:)

Secondly, I'm well aware of the rondeau's form, short or long, that had undergone several changes in the course of time. However, I took some liberties that now come back to bite me in the caboose. I should have adhered to the true rondeau form, which might be these ones I pulled off the net. As said, I took some liberties, but my lines are tetrameter. Thanks. Ali.

(I forgot the author's name)

"(a) In Summertime we do not go
(a) To school for weeks and weeks, no no!
(b) We take a day trip to the beach
(b) And buy ourselves an ice cream each
(a) We run into the surf that's low
(a) Get seaweed wrapped around our toes
(a) While others sunbathe on a throw
(b) We build sandcastles tides can't reach
(A) In Summertime."

In Flanders Fields
John McCrae (1872-1918)

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark the place, and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below

We are the dead; short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take upon your quarrel with the foe!
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high!
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.