What Does it Mean? *** (Crit welcomed), rondeau Options

[JustDaniel]

What Does it Mean?

What does it mean to please someone?
Do anything to get along?
or should I work to understand,
befriend, and try to lend a hand?
At times, the process won't be fun.

What pleases God? Look to His Son.
Attend His Word; know right from wrong.
What's PC? No! Seek true peace, and
What does it mean?

Is there something that will atone?
Can we talk on the telephone?
To reconcile's no magic wand;
relationships have shifting sand.
Ask God to guide; don't act alone.
What does it mean?

© MLee Dickens'son 2014

[Larry]

Hi Daniel, long time no see!

First of all, your rhyme scheme does not follow the Rondeau’s
a ®, a, b, b, a
a, b, b, ®
a, a, b, b, a, ®

It looks more like
a, b, c, c, a
a, b, c, ®
d, d, e, b, d, ®

(wand/sand), although they look alike, do not rhyme in S3.

Here are my suggestions:
S1:
L1 – (lose the question mark/replace with semicolon)
L2 – do anything to get it done,
L3 – befriend or strive to understand
L4 – and even lend a helping hand?
L5 – (ain’t that the truth)

S2:
L2 – Attend His Word… and His command.
L3 – I’ll have to think on this one because I can make no sense of what it means and unlike all the other lines, it isn’t iambic.

S3:
L1, 2 and 5 end rhymes match but don’t follow the rhymes of S1 and S2.

L1 – Forgive and wrongs may be undone
L2 – or share your thoughts and we've begun.
L3 – To reconcile must be well planned;
L4 – (this line is so true) and the end rhymes match
L5 – Ask God to guide and you have won.

Here is my edited suggestions:

What does it mean?

What does it mean to please someone;
do anything to get it done,
befriend or strive to understand,
and even lend a helping hand?
At times, the process won't be fun.

What pleases God? Look to His Son.
Attend His Word… and His Command.
What's PC? No! Seek true peace, and (don’t know what to do with this line)
What does it mean?

Forgive and wrongs may be undone
or share your thoughts and we've begun.
To reconcile must be well planned;
relationships have shifting sand.
Ask God to guide and you have won.
What does it mean?


That's about as thorough a critique as I can give. Hope it's not too much.

Again,
glad to see you back.

Larry