A WAYWARD SPIRIT, A sonnet for Jerry Options

[Thoth]

At times I crave the restless sea,
at times deep forests make me whole;
dry desert plains can set me free
while mountain cascades rest my soul.

Today, great rivers hold my mind
and bush-veld nights my passions bend;
tomorrow, sunset lakes shall find
tranquillity life can't transcend.

The road is long, the journey hard
each trail beset with peril and greed
It’s well to always be on guard
yet keep in sight one's humble creed.

Each special spot upon God's Earth
is place for souls to share re-birth.


© WW Schwim


There you are Jerry. A pastoral sonnet without guile, concealed meanings in the metaphore or uncommon words to look up. Does it leave a warm familiar feeling to some readers, invoking perhaps a trace of nostalgia to others yet impart an obvious lesson to those receptive to it?
Depends on entirely on the reader's interpretation.

Or is there more hiding behind a simple skin? Depends on the Author, does it not?

I write seldom these days and then for my own pleasure cause as you say, no-one wants to know anyway
and if along the way someone perchance likes what I write then I consider it a bonus. If they dislike it, well, that's ok too and should it fall on deaf ears it's simply the way of the world.

[Thoth]

Hello Lori

It wonderful to see you here again getting involved, critiquing (and writing too I see) once more. You always offer useful and relevant comment that reminds me why I joined MM so many years ago now.

I do like your suggestion of the ellipse because it can imply omitted words or thoughts as well as a pause. Previous purist mentors have discouraged me from using it but in recent years I find myself strangely pushing away from observing the strict disciplines of traditional form and absolute grammatical correctness. Your next suggestion; “soothe my soul” is also spot on and gladly accepted since “restless” is already used in that same verse. Good call!

The others I’m not so sure about because they alter the meaning of the sentence. Isn't it amazing how that can happen by placement of a simple comma!

Case 1.
Each special spot upon God's Earth
is place for souls to share re-birth
The special spots on God’s Earth are places for spiritual re-birth, summarises the message of the poem.

Case 2.
Each special spot upon God's Earth,
our place for souls to share re-birth
God’s Earth is the place for spiritual re-birth (now actually opposing the message of the poem) - Big difference!

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

Hugz

Wal