Sonnet (with suggested revision), Happy Thoughts Options

[jerryk]

Revised Sonnet to Happy Thoughts

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And so I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes too trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, I'll share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

Sonnet to Happy Thoughts ** original

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And then I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes so trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, then share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Happy Summer indeed, Jerry!

I look forward to seeing any changes you may make!

~Cleo

[jerryk]

Happy Summer indeed, Jerry!

I look forward to seeing any changes you may make!

~Cleo

Hello again, Cleo;
I did make those minor changes, and thank you for your suggestions. The Shakespearean sonnet is always shown in a continuous group of three quatrains and the gg couplet. On occasion I have seen a sestet (including the couplet) separate from the first two quatrain, most likely to emphasize the Volta or "turn" of the idea. Also, I have seen the concluding rhymed couplet set apart from the quatrains, however, I try to adhere to Shakespeare's formula rather than deviations. It is true that Shakespeare indented his couplets, which I often forget to do in my sonnet. Interestingly, Shakespeare and later poets often varied from strict adherence to the iambic pattern. The contemporary sonnet is a different matter; but there is more to writing a sonnet than jotting down 14 lines. Thought I should share my thoughts with you. Thanks for the return,
Jerry