Sonnet (with suggested revision), Happy Thoughts Options

[jerryk]

Revised Sonnet to Happy Thoughts

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And so I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes too trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, I'll share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

Sonnet to Happy Thoughts ** original

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And then I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes so trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, then share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

[Psyche]

Hi again, Jerry,

Just to continue this interesting thread that sprang from your amusing sonnet.

I re-read W.S.'s Sonnet I and I'm amazed at his use of end rhymes, which certainly add to the perfection of his poems. Maybe they are the reason that he's never to be forgotten.

For example:

die
memory

(I remember my dear mother telling me that the author wanted one to emphasize certain sounds, such as reading 'memory' to rhyme with 'die'. Sometimes one had to read the word as 'memoree'. And so on. Was she right?)

ornament
content

spring
niggarding

(This last one is fantastic! )

So let's have fun and copy the master!

Concerning Caps, there appears to be a return to that in some poetry, present authors. I agree with Larry about Caps 'getting in the way' of the flow and comprehension. I've even seen them used in prize-winning FV poems!

Don't know what to think. I bet the authors don't know the origins of that rule, which Larry mentions. Interesting.

Cheers, Syl***

[jerryk]

Hi again, Jerry,

Just to continue this interesting thread that sprang from your amusing sonnet.

I re-read W.S.'s Sonnet I and I'm amazed at his use of end rhymes, which certainly add to the perfection of his poems. Maybe they are the reason that he's never to be forgotten.

For example:

die
memory

(I remember my dear mother telling me that the author wanted one to emphasize certain sounds, such as reading 'memory' to rhyme with 'die'. Sometimes one had to read the word as 'memoree'. And so on. Was she right?)

ornament
content

spring
niggarding

(This last one is fantastic! )

So let's have fun and copy the master!

Concerning Caps, there appears to be a return to that in some poetry, present authors. I agree with Larry about Caps 'getting in the way' of the flow and comprehension. I've even seen them used in prize-winning FV poems!

Don't know what to think. I bet the authors don't know the origins of that rule, which Larry mentions. Interesting.

Cheers, Syl***

Hi again, Sylvia;
concerning sonnets; having given this matter further thought, I have to stand by my personal preference to cap the first letter in each line. I understand that some publishers would prefer the non-capitalization because it may be easier on their contemporary readers eye. Honestly, in my circles, I hardly know of any poetry readers, and I can see where those caps would startle, even confuse them. I think that we poets write for other poets, rather than "the unwashed masses." Hardly anyone cares for what we have to say. I find that mostly poets buy the works of other poets. In my own unpretentious writings I always strive to keep my poetry free of words that would send them looking for a dictionary; yet, one of my acquaintances failed to grasp the simplest of my verses--and told me so.

"Spring" and "nigggarding"? It makes sense to me. In both lines the beat and syllable count is correct. Concerning "niggarding": I can't remember the name of our American statesman who had used the word "niggardly" and found himself misunderstood by some ignoramus. It's true. About "die" and "memory," I believe that in Old Will's days "memory" would have been pronounced as "memor-eye." English spelling and pronunciation continues to evolve, and, who know, what our language will sound like 200 years from now.
Below is Will's Sonnet 1.

Thanks again, Sylvia; you are lots of fun. Take care,
Jerry

Sonnet 1

From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty’s rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease
His tender heir might bear his memory.
But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed’st thy light’s flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world’s fresh ornament
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content,
And, tender churl, mak’st waste in niggarding.
  Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
  To eat the world’s due, by the grave and thee.