Sonnet (with suggested revision), Happy Thoughts Options

[jerryk]

Revised Sonnet to Happy Thoughts

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And so I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes too trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, I'll share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

Sonnet to Happy Thoughts ** original

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail,
I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And then I write,
But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules
That whine about past loves, and themes so trite,
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.
Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme).
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, then share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care.

[Psyche]

Hi Jerry,
I really enjoyed reading this sonnet Happy Thoughts. You've handled your lines so deftly...I envy you!

Sonnet to Happy Thoughts **

At times, when fair poetic winds do fail
And leave me in the doldrums latitude
Without a breeze to fill a sonnet’s sail, <<<<<<< fantastic.

I simply save my sinking attitude
By taking Shakespeare’s quill. And then I write, <<<<great idea, must do that...LOL.

But still abstain from lines much brayed by mules <<<<<makes me laugh!

That whine about past loves, and themes so trite, <<<<< quite so.
Their overuse has dulled these once sharp tools.<<<< a shame...

Of joyful things I’d rather write to you.
Let songs of cheerful spring and summertime
Replace the wintry owls’ “Tu-whit, tu-who”—
(I robbed “Love’s Labour’s Lost” to suit this rhyme). <<<< haha! Very good.
When gladness fills a poet’s heart, then share;
Self-pity falls on ears that do not care. <<<<<Well, 'self-pity' surely doesn't, but there are loads of great sad sonnets from the quills of the best poets that touch one's heart deeply. But I appreciate your point, this is an amusing piece and I like it.

I can't nit because I'm no sonnet writer; just try my hand now and again and hope to be critted gently!
Cheers, Syl***