 Moments of Time, For my Grandchildren ** |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 Jan 15 14, 05:15
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 783 Joined: 24-July 07 From: South Africa Member No.: 457 Real Name: Walter Schwim Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Mistral  |
Version 2 6 Feb 2014 (Thanks Lori)
The weeks, the months, the fleeting years all filled with wonder, joys and fears. I've squandered many, (sad but true) that’s not the path I’d wish for you. A gift from God; each gilded day for us to use in work or play. The hours past are not returned yet leave their lessons to be learned. One precious minute paints your sky, stays sixty seconds then shall fly so mark each special second well; they tick your life yet never dwell. Original The weeks, the months, the fleeting years all filled with hopes and joys and fears. I've squandered much (it's sad but true), that’s not the path I’d wish for you. A gift from God; each gilded day for us to use in work or play. The passing hour won't return yet leaves a lesson to be learned. One fleeting minute paints your sky, stays sixty seconds then shall fly so mark each special second well; it checks your life yet will not dwell. "unique" replaced by "special" (thanks Syl) 
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Feb 6 14, 09:40
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
YAY Wally!
 I especially like these two changes most of all: The hours past are not returned and One precious minute paints your sky, Well done! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
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Posts in this topic
Thoth Moments of Time Jan 15 14, 05:15 
Larry Hi Wally,
Nice to see you back and posting. It... Jan 15 14, 23:22 Thoth Hello Larry
I was hibernating - not dead
Thank... Jan 16 14, 01:10 Psyche Ive not been hibernating, but I'm half dead al... Jan 18 14, 14:25 Maureen I love it Wally and confess that the 'hour... Jan 27 14, 17:43 Thoth Hello Syl and Mau
Thank you both for popping i... Jan 28 14, 09:52 Larry Hi Wally,
I like the change because, as you say, ... Jan 28 14, 13:50 Eisa Hi Wally
How great to see you posting this though... Feb 4 14, 17:05 Cleo_Serapis Hi Wally,
What a lovely poem and tribute! I... Feb 5 14, 08:35 Thoth Thanks Lori
Always good to get another's thou... Feb 6 14, 03:07 Thoth Hello Snow
Good to see you here too
Thank you ... Feb 6 14, 03:10 
Alan Dear Wally,
Certainly like the updated version, e... Feb 9 14, 04:48 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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