Moments of Time, For my Grandchildren ** Options

[Thoth]

Version 2 6 Feb 2014 (Thanks Lori)

The weeks, the months, the fleeting years
all filled with wonder, joys and fears.
I've squandered many, (sad but true)
that’s not the path I’d wish for you.

A gift from God; each gilded day
for us to use in work or play.
The hours past are not returned
yet leave their lessons to be learned.

One precious minute paints your sky,
stays sixty seconds then shall fly
so mark each special second well;
they tick your life yet never dwell.



Original

The weeks, the months, the fleeting years
all filled with hopes and joys and fears.
I've squandered much (it's sad but true),
that’s not the path I’d wish for you.

A gift from God; each gilded day
for us to use in work or play.
The passing hour won't return
yet leaves a lesson to be learned.

One fleeting minute paints your sky,
stays sixty seconds then shall fly
so mark each special second well;
it checks your life yet will not dwell.


"unique" replaced by "special" (thanks Syl)

[Larry]

Hi Wally,

Nice to see you back and posting. It's been a bit lonely around here of late.

This is, as you state, a poem for your grandchildren and so I found it appropriate that you utilized a rhyme
scheme with which children are familiar. It is a nice lesson in the value of time and a reminder to all of us
that we have only so many allotted year and should make the most of what God has given.

I have only one small nit and it has to do with metrical flow. S2/L3 - "hour" is monosyllabic and leaves that line
half a foot short. Perhaps losing the contraction and using "will not" can alleviate that bump.

Welcome back,
Larry