 A Door to Curiosity REVISION #1 **** CRIT WELCOME, variation on a sonnet, from a challenge |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 Jun 22 13, 06:10
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 20,748 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
In case you're curious, Sylvia suggested that I post this here from the challenges:
REVISION #1 ... Thanks, Larry and Lori!  A Door to Curiosity Walking the halls of his high school last week, something made his curiosity peak. Daybreak peeked in from a place where he swore he'd never noticed a doorway before! Faintly a song had emerged from the mist seeping out under the door... which was locked. Nearly in shock, he looked 'round to enlist help to gain entrance to where he had knocked. No one was there, so he battered and kicked 'til he became so worn out, he sat down right where he was, heaving hard; he was licked.... Suddenly out of the space came a clown mocking the rube like Uriah the Heep. Thoroughly humbled, I woke from my sleep. © MLee Dickens'son 2013 from a challenge to use the words: daybreak, song, mist and shock... and the phrase: He'd never noticed a door there before. ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Jun 27 13, 03:19
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 10,904 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hey Merlin!  I've enjoyed this 'different' sonnet so much that I'd like to nominate it for IBPC. It would be sent for August, too late for July. If you agree? You have plenty of time to tweak it. Do you wish for any suggestions? No *** in sight!!  Cheers, Syl*** 
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Jul 20 13, 11:59
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 20,748 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Psyche @ Jun 27 13, 04:19 )  Hey I've enjoyed this 'different' sonnet so much that I'd like to nominate it for IBPC. It would be sent for August, too late for July. If you agree? You have plenty of time to tweak it. Do you wish for any suggestions? No *** in sight!! Cheers, Syl*** Thank you so much for your Nomination, Sylvia!! I definitely accept your gracious offer, and I will be posting my further editing in just a short while this afternoon! And of course August will be fine! Further suggestion will be WELCOME from anyone! deLighting in your kindness, Daniel  P.S. ... and of course I hope you won't withdraw your nomination just because I'm not Merlin!! 
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel A Door to Curiosity REVISION #1 **** CRIT WELCOME Jun 22 13, 06:10 
Larry Hi Daniel,
Surely "A Door To Curiosity... Jun 23 13, 23:31 
JustDaniel QUOTE (Larry @ Jun 24 13, 00:31 ) Hi Dani... Jul 20 13, 11:48 Merlin Hi JD,
I wrote one a while back that wasn't in... Jun 24 13, 17:08 JustDaniel QUOTE (Merlin @ Jun 24 13, 18:08 ) Hi JD,... Jul 20 13, 11:50 Cleo_Serapis Ha ha Daniel!
That was a fun poem to read; gl... Jun 24 13, 18:00 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Jun 24 13, 19:00 ) ... Jul 20 13, 11:53 Larry Hey Sylvia,
I know Merlin posted right before you... Jun 27 13, 08:45 JustDaniel Hey, y'all....
I've been away for a week... Jul 1 13, 06:35 Larry Hi Daniel,
Welcome back from your holiday. Sorry... Jul 1 13, 10:14 JustDaniel QUOTE (Larry @ Jul 1 13, 11:14 ) Hi Danie... Jul 20 13, 12:47 Psyche So sorry, Daniel, for my mixup, please forgive... Jul 6 13, 15:06 JustDaniel QUOTE (Psyche @ Jul 6 13, 16:06 ) So sorr... Jul 20 13, 12:50 Cleo_Serapis Hi Daniel,
I came back to take another 'peek... Jul 15 13, 13:28 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Jul 15 13, 14:28 ) ... Jul 20 13, 12:54 JustDaniel Thank you all for your assistance with this. I de... Jul 15 13, 17:21 Cleo_Serapis Hi Daniel,
Just checking in - are we going to be... Jul 20 13, 10:31 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Jul 20 13, 11:31 ) ... Jul 20 13, 13:10 Larry Hi Daniel,
Excellent revision...
It has lilt and... Jul 20 13, 16:09 JustDaniel Thank you for your help, Larry, and I appreciate y... Jul 20 13, 21:01 Cleo_Serapis Hi Daniel,
FABULOUS revision! Nice inner rhym... Jul 21 13, 12:27 Cleo_Serapis Hi Daniel,
I just noticed one more thing and want... Jul 21 13, 18:55 Psyche Hi Daniel, at last!
I had a good laugh wh... Jul 27 13, 01:49 Cleo_Serapis Hi Daniel,
Just checking in one last time before... Jul 29 13, 05:29 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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