NOT QUITE WHITE ***, free verse Options

[Maureen]

NOT QUITE WHITE - Amended version


White was nice,
white was bland,
white was not a colour.

God, he was sick of white – neutral white – blank palette white.
White overalls, white dustsheets.
Everyone was the same, like bloody sheep following the leader.
They all wanted white.

Where were the blues,
the pistachios,
cerise and aubergines?

When had white become the go?
Safe old white – cold white.
Icy white, white out, antique white.

What’s right with white?

He sat under the filtered light from the skylight,
smelt the fresh plaster,
noted the grain in the timber banisters soon to be painted white
and as he stirred and stirred
the colours deepened,
became strong and vibrant.
Alive.

He smiled. Surrounded by glass he stood
viewing the panorama of nature's vibrancy.

Green and blue,
yellow buttercups, wild crocus
and fluffy white clouds.

He began to paint his walls...
Not quite white.

NOT QUITE WHITE


White was nice, white was bland, white was not a colour.
God he was sick of white – neutral white – blank palette white.
White overalls, white dust sheets. Everyone was the same
like bloody sheep following the leader. They all wanted white.

Where were the blues, the pistachios, cerise and aubergines?
When had white become the go – safe old white – cold white
Icy white, white out, antique white. What’s right with white?

He sat under the light that filtered through the skylight,
He smelt the fresh plaster, noted the grain in the timber banisters,
soon to be painted white and as he stirred and stirred
the colours deepened, became strong and vibrant. Alive.

He smiled, stood there surrounded by glass, viewing the panorama
of natures vibrancy. Green and blue, yellow buttercups, wild crocus
and fluffy white clouds. He began to paint his walls. Not quite white.

Maureen Clifford ©

[Psyche]

Maureen!

I absolutely missed this one. I know I read it long ago, but thought I had left my comments.

I've been laughing at the interchange between Daniel, Merlin and yourself.

To complicate matters, I just have to remark that I like your first version best of all. IMHO, FV doesn't necessarily have to be spaced, although it's fun to do that as well.

I agree about some punctuation revision. I'll return at a better moment to point out the er...mistakes!

Have you inspected the IBPC winning poems, which can be found lower down, somewhere near the challenges? Mostly, the FV ones get the prizes. No idea why, but I really like last month's winners.

I think this poem can be nominated for entry into IBPC. You'd have to fix the punctuation, the rest is highly original, I really love it! I'm sure Lori will agree, don't know where she's off to right now. We all seem to have crowded days and I apologise for being absent for a while.

Do let us know about IBPC, it's once a month and there's a deadline.
Many hugs,
Syl***