Set Free, Trijan Refrain Options

[heartsong7]

Set Free

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her loved ones slain or gone.
The rebels steal the wealth they seek,
then rape and hurry on.
Now all is lost, she has no will,
though help lies just beyond the hill.
Now all is lost,
now all is lost;
her baby boy lies cold and still.

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her husband left them all
He ran away, afraid and meek;
she saw him trip and fall.
They took his head and left him there
to rot where not a soul would care.
They took his head,
they took his head;
she saw its empty, icy stare.

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her journey’s burden great.
Her arms grow tired; her body weak.
She can no longer wait.
She’s going home at last... tonight
beyond the brilliant pulsing light,
she’s going home.
She’s going home,
the end of suffering's in sight.

[heartsong7]

Hi Karen,
It's so good to know when a poem is working. I'm never quite sure after it's all done, how it will be read by others.
re: suffering, yes it's one of those words that can be pronounced with either 2 or 3 syllables and either is correct. I've learned recently, that when reading, we need to let the meter be our guide when a word has optional pronunciations. That's especially helpful when your audience comes from many regions and countries. If I write a poem to accommodate one, it may not the other. If the word appears well into the poem, it should be easy to see which pronunciation the poet intends by hearing the established meter.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and offer your suggestions. Always helpful.
Sue