The Craft [revised 10 Aug 2010], English Sonnet Options

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Revision 2 - 11/8/10

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict conditions made by rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered language calls,
seducing us with sound-born melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
while consonance cements the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

line 4 amended 12/8/10.

Revision 1 - 29/7/10[/u]

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us mark her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
strung consonants cement the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.


The Craft- Original

Our spoken rhythms form the template’s base
that poets rearrange in measured lines
to make a match with normal turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us set her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels harmonise the whole
while staggered consonants add symmetry.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Jim,

Had to stop back in and see your comments. Yay! Glad to help!

to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
FABULOUS – much improved!

Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us mark her sounds as melody;
I think I know what was tripping me up with the original 'set' and now 'mark' - for me it's actually the word 'bids'. I would suggest replacing it with offers or something else along those lines when preceding 'us'. Not sure how you feel about it but it just doesn't seem to feel like a grammatically correct line there IMHO. An option to strike your muse:
And offers us her sounds: her melody

As always, T or T.
Cheers,
~Cleo

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Hi, Cleo,

have had another look at those lines and the muse suggested a change of mood, revision posted,
Jim