The Dusk of Day's Remains, sonnet Options

[heartsong7]

The Dusk of Day’s Remains

His coming home alive was only half
the battle. Acting like he cared at all
for anyone or thing, to simply laugh,
was hell. Awakened, crouching in the hall,
not knowing where he was or why he should
survive, he raised the gun, and felt the scar
where once had been a cheek; then slowly stood.

By morning he'd retrieved his old guitar,
a scratched-up, string-less wreck he vowed to save.
I watched him recreate an instrument.
As countless hours of renovations gave
him purpose, he was peaceful and content.
He strummed his own renditions. Those refrains
still echo in the dusk of day's remains.

[Eisa]

Hi Sue

It's great to read your work again. I enjoyed reading this topical and poignant piece. I'm sure this is a story that many people can identify with ... sadly!

The Dusk of Day’s Remains

His coming home alive was only half
the battle. Acting like he cared at all
for anyone or thing, to simply laugh,
was hell. Awakened, crouching in the hall,
not knowing where he was or why he should
survive, he raised the gun, and felt the scar
where once had been a cheek; then slowly stood.

I really like the opening here and the double meaning of 'only half the battle'.

By morning he'd retrieved his old guitar,
a scratched-up, string-less wreck he vowed to save.
I watched him recreate an instrument.
As countless hours of renovations gave
him purpose, he was peaceful and content.
He strummed his own renditions. Those refrains
still echo in the dusk of day's remains.

A nice change in this stanza. 'an instrument' in L3 sounds a bit impersonal. You could change to 'his' or 'this' instrument.
I like the way this stanza shows how he came to terms with the past and how he found purpose in his life again to make a recovery.

Your final line, is really beautiful, but I have to agree with Daniel that it seems a little out of place somehow, with the rest of the poem.

Hope this helps - take or toss!
Snow