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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 May 27 10, 05:08
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 Assyrian  Posts: 262 Joined: 4-February 09 Member No.: 756 Real Name: Robin DeWalt Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Winning Writer's web site  |
I've never seen an angel's toe
laced in golden thong. But I have seen the devil's hand in every deed that's wrong. Where is the harp, the flute, and fife to play me through this silent life? If only God would breathe in me a deeper faith to set me free, I'd drop my burdens gratefully and walk the shores I cannot see. ·······  ······· |
  
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May 28 10, 15:30
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Robin
It is so good to read your work again. I really like this one with its inspirational message. I cannot find much to nit here, it's very well written. Just a couple of thoughts;- I've never seen an angel's toe laced in a golden thong. I keep wanting to add 'a' before thong, it might work as a subsitution. eg LACED in a GOLDen THONG But I have seen the devil's hand in every deed that's wrong. Where is the harp, the flute, and fife to play me through this silent life? If only God would breathe in me a deeper faith to set me free, I'd drop my burdens gratefully convinced of shores I can not see. I think I agree with Karen about 'convinced' and like her suggestion for replacement. Another thought would be : exploring shores I cannot see Lovely thoughts Snow 
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
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Posts in this topic
merle Breathe In Me May 27 10, 05:08 
anaisa Hi merle,
This is really nice! Just a few sug... May 27 10, 10:26 ohsteve Robin, Welcome back,,,been long time no see. your ... May 27 10, 22:27 merle Hi Karen - Thank you so much for taking the time ... May 28 10, 00:31 Kimi Hi Robin,
This is beautiful. I love the message i... May 28 10, 01:40 anaisa and walk the shores I cannot see. ?? May 28 10, 15:02 merle Hi Kimi, Karen, and Snow -
Thank you all for your... May 28 10, 16:40 
Eisa QUOTE (merle @ May 28 10, 22:40 ) Hi Kimi... May 28 10, 19:06 Psyche Hi Robin!
This is so gently inspirational. It... May 28 10, 22:17 merle Hi Syl -
Thanks for stopping by regardless of the... May 31 10, 00:21 Mary Boren Hi Merle ... er, Robin?
We met briefly last year ... Jul 7 10, 16:52 Cleo_Serapis Hi Robin,
I too thoroughly enjoyed this - and the... Jul 9 10, 14:24 merle Hi Mary,
Yes, by all means use my name...Robin. ... Jul 9 10, 15:36 merle Hi Cleo,
Thank you for the kind comments. I agre... Jul 9 10, 15:38 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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