Hi Peggy,
I liked the idea of this one, especially the mouldy finale. I am unsure if there is a deeper message, there could be, in which case perhaps it’s too deep for the flippant limerick. It has to decide which way it wants to go, at present it sits on the fence going nowhere IMO.
If it moves to a more serious side you may have to attend to some issues with the similes and if you would like it to light, I would suggest using full limerick metre. Either directions are definitely feasible but I don’t know where you would prefer to take this one.
Just some ideas for example;
“A warming kiss can leave one cold and fear turn the coward bold. It's known that opposites attract and on each other co-react; so food uncovered ends as mould!”
Anyway, thanks for sharing those thoughts. I hope you manage to crystallize this one.
Hugz,
Wally
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