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post Nov 16 09, 21:59
Post #1





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Breathe in, breathe out, ah...
Autumn never smelt so fresh,
so where is the snow?

Nov. 16, 09
© Steve Pray
 
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Thoth
post Dec 30 09, 04:10
Post #2


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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral



Dear Steve,

This is defiantly a haiku as it refers to a season. I loved the idea and the inhaling of winter air but for me it infers that Autumn is still present thus the expectation of snow is premature in spite of the freshness of the air,

I too feel if we change the layout of a form, we cannot continue to call it by the same name. For me I like the traditional way.

Where I live on the Highveld, we have cold winters but I have only experienced a real snowfall twice in my life. Right now, I am near the Kalahari with day temperatures approaching 40C in the shade and the camel-thorns have never seen snow.

Closing my eyes, I attempted a winter haiku using my flaky imagination;

“Stripped of their splendour
blackened oaks, humbled by frost
await new white cloaks.”


Thank you for that!
Cheers,
Wally


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