Faithful Autumn (Final Draft-Thanks Wally, merle & all) Options

[Maggie]

Faithful Autumn (Final Draft . Thanks Wally, Merle & all )

Tomorrrow’s never certain.
It's always been that way,
but one thing I am sure of
is Autumn came today.

A nippy wind is blowing
the leaves from our oak tree,
and squirrels bury acorns;
that's how the fall should be.

Embracing as a sunset,
predictable as tide;
my faithful friend, Autumn,
has come back to abide.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood


Faithful Autumn (Revision 4- Much thanks Wally, merle & all)

Tomorrow’s never certain.
It's always been that way,
but one thing I am sure of
is Autumn came today.

A nippy wind is blowing
the leaves from our oak tree,
and squirrels bury acorns;
that's how the fall should be.

All things are set in order;
wild geese are on the wing.
There's comforting assurance
which returning seasons bring.

Embracing as a sunset,
encompassing as a tide;
my faithful friend, Autumn,
has come back to abide.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood



Faithful Autumn (Revision 3 Rough Final Stanza)

Tomorrow is never certain.
It's always been that way,
but one thing that I know,
Autumn came today.

A squirrel buried an acorn.
That's how it's meant to be,
and a nippy wind is blowing
leaves from the water oak tree.

Regular as the sunset,
faithful as the rising tide,
my old friend Autumn
has come to abide.

All things are in order.
Wild geese on the wing.
Autumn's comforting assurance
makes my very soul sing.



Faithful Autumn (Revision 2 Rough final stanza)

Tomorrow is never certain.
It's always been that way,
but one thing that I know
is Autumn came today.

Saw a squirrel bury an acorn.
That's how it's supposed to be,
and a nippy wind is blowing
branches on the water oak tree.

As regular as the sunset
and as faithful as rising tide
my old friend Autumn
has come to abide.

Now all things are in order.
Wild geese are on the wing.
Autumn's comforting assurance
makes my very soul sing.





Thank you merle for pointing me back to my own feelings about autumn, and thank you everyone for all the help!!! I just jotted down a very rough start for a poem with ballad rhyme which concentrates on the comfort and reassurance of a returning season.


Faithful Autumn (Revision 1)

Tomorrow is never certain.
It's always been that way,
but one thing that I know
is Autumn came today.

Saw a squirrel bury an acorn.
That's how it's supposed to be,
and a nippy wind is blowing
limbs of the water oak tree.

As regular as the sunset
and as faithful as rising tide
my old friend Autumn
has come to abide.

unfinished. . .




Autumn Images (Original)

A nippy chill flows on the breeze.
Squirrels bury acorns under trees.
Geese fly south through the sky.
Pumpkins ripen in fields nearby.

Leaves speckle woodlands red and gold.
Mums and pansies are being sold.
One's old jacket comes in handy.
Children's thoughts focus on candy.

First frost nips a summer flower.
Clocks fall back to gain an hour.
Thanksgiving is just beyond the bend.
Welcome, Autumn, my old friend!




Peggy Carpenter Harwood

[Sekhmet]

Good morning Peggy - I am not too certain why you have chosen to submit this particular poem for criticism to MM.
If you are planning to self-publish a book of children's poetry - let the children be your judge.
You have, as you say, read, written and taught creative writing all your life. Be confident in your abilities! - Go right ahead and publish.
You have made it clear that you don't need, and have indeed rejected, such suggestions as we have offered.
I have the impression that your book, and I presume this poem, is intended to be read by children?
Possibly, if we had understood that intention at first, we would have judged this poem as Children's Verse. I believe there is a symbol that can be used to indicate that a poem is intended for children's entertainment, but you should ask Cleo about that.
I, for one, assumed that the verse was offered for adult enjoyment - and felt that I wanted the stunning experience of Autumn to be described by verses with more glory,substance and originality.
I feel that children,too, deserve more to fire their imagination than this poem offers - but then, I'm not a children's writer; so what do I know?
Leo