The Parrot and the Coot (Final Draft), limerick Options

[Maggie]

The Parrot and the Coot ( Final Draft)

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in her master's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird stayed suspiciously mute.


The Parrot and the Coot ( Revision 1)

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in the old one's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird squaked, "So go buy a newt!"

Peggy Carpenter Harwood


The Parrot and the Coot

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in the old one's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird stayed suspiciously mute.


Peggy Carpenter Harwood

[Thoth]

Hi Peggy,

Shouldn't it be "an egg"?

This limerick is ok metrically with a slanty rhyme at L3,L4 but I feel it is a little weak in message, almost like an exercise in form.

Although simply structured, a good limerick should leave the reader thinking "That was clever!"

This is most easily done by giving last line a twist that resolves the poem in an unexpected way. IMHO your last line needs some work and since the rhyming possibilities are large it should not be too difficult.

I hope this comment is helpful.

Hugs,

Wally