 Snowman, Haiku |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Jul 8 09, 04:08
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#1
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 Babylonian  Posts: 66 Joined: 14-May 09 Member No.: 798 Real Name: James Carver Writer of: Poetry Referred By:poppy  |
as winter begins
snowman,s excitement escapes through icy grin |
  
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Jul 8 09, 23:04
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#2
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 Assyrian Posts: 201 Joined: 28-April 09 From: Canada Member No.: 784 Real Name: Marc-Andre Germain Writer of: Poetry |
Hellfire, not too sure this is a haiku in the strict sense of the word. Haiku are poems of observation, and I can hardly imagine the observation of a snowman "jumping". Perhaps a winter animal? Also, I think you can find a synonym for "jump" that could replace "jump for joy" with one word. Never mind the syllable count (as long as you keep it under seventeen) for a haiku in English language, it should have less syllables than in Japanese.
I hope this helps. Mark ·······  ······· |
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Posts in this topic
hellfire Snowman Jul 8 09, 04:08 
Cleo_Serapis Hello Hellfire,
I enjoyed your winter Haiku (alt... Jul 8 09, 06:39 ace Hellfire:
I love reading and writing haiku; you... Jul 8 09, 17:31 hellfire thanks cleo
will revise and see how it works.not ... Jul 9 09, 00:40 hellfire hi ace
thanks for the advice.
i am glad you enjoy... Jul 9 09, 00:43 hellfire hi mark
must admit not a haiku in traditional sen... Jul 9 09, 00:47 Arnfinn G'day, Hellfire.
as winter begins
snowman,s ... Jul 13 09, 02:57 
hellfire hi john
thanks for the comments and suggestion.
i... Jul 13 09, 03:49 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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