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> 4th March 2009
Guest_Ishmael_*
post Jun 12 09, 09:50
Post #1





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And in the nights to come the sky will empty
The stars will leave the mourning to rusted moons
Lowering their eyes and coughing as they go
In early twilights breezes glowing guilty
Fiddle with leaves and all the brittle coffins
Lie scattered beneath a single trembling bough

Forget the lies of a vengeance still to come
Whispered by plumes that rise in fretful ribbons
Nothing stirs the covens they stand without shame
Consumptive figures of fun with all their claws
Raking the flaccid clouds and when the rains
Do fall the witches gather them up for oils

And who’s to say when the urge might strike again
To leave the gate for misery’s herds ajar
So lie right here my peach where the husks are blown
And lonely ghosts can watch us night after night
Damping down the dust with trickles of nectar
Let ravens scrape the sky with their broken wit
 
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Arnfinn
post Jun 21 09, 06:47
Post #2


Creative Chieftain
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Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry





G'day, mate.

Yep. I'm an Australian. mickeymouse.gif pinkpanther.gif pinkpanther.gif


What a wonderful poem.


And in the nights to come the sky will empty
The stars will leave the mourning to rusted moons <<< rusted?
Lowering their eyes and coughing as they go
In early twilights breezes glowing guilty
Fiddle with leaves and all the brittle coffins
Lie scattered beneath a single trembling bough<<< Mate, what a great stanza. A feeling of helplessness.

Forget the lies of a vengeance still to come
Whispered by plumes that rise in fretful ribbons
Nothing stirs the covens they stand without shame
Consumptive figures of fun with all their claws
Raking the flaccid clouds and when the rains
Do fall the witches gather them up for oils<<< consumptive? eliminated in late 60's(Aus). Whooee...A confrontation.

And who’s to say when the urge might strike again
To leave the gate for misery’s herds ajar
So lie right here my peach where the husks are blown
And lonely ghosts can watch us night after night
Damping down the dust with trickles of nectar
Let ravens scrape the sky with their broken wit<<< And vulnerability.



This is a terrific poem.


You have put so much feeling into the verses.


Your poem reads well.



John troy.gif






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Arnfinn

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