Focus, Limerick (Pun) Options

[Larry]

Focus

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So as not to confuse,
A small pun they did use;
Which explained everything at a glance





L5 did read: For they felt it explained at a glance

___________________________________________

*footnote removed - If you need an explanation, look at Mark's post!

[Maggie]

Hi Larry,

I'm afraid this is too complex for me! I believe poems should be able to stand on their own without footnotes. This doesn't seem clear enough without the footnote. Also, the two short lines are 6 syllables each. I'm almost positive a limerick should be
9
9
5
5
9

I've taken the liberty of shortening the needed lines by 1 syllable each
and changed "chance" to "romance."

Focus ( Your version)

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So as not to confuse,
A small pun they did use;
For they felt it explained at a glance


Focus (My suggested version)

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So not to confuse, 5
A small pun they used, 5
For they felt it explained cow romance. (Thought you might consider "romance.")

Of course you're the poet, so use or lose.

Peggy