 Man From Bolling (Revision), limerick |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 May 26 09, 20:50
Post
#1
|
|
 Greek  Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in  |
Man from Bolling (Revision)
There once was an old man from Bolling who loved to go down the street strolling. With his purse in hand and a fandango fan, he set all his neighbors' eyes rolling. Peggy Carpenter Harwood Man from Bolling There once was an old man from Bolling who loved to go down the street strolling. He had lipstick in hand and a fandango fan. All who saw him felt their eyes rolling. Peggy Carpenter Harwood ·······  ······· |
  
|
|
 |
Replies
|
May 28 09, 20:53
Post
#2
|
|
 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Too funny Peggy!
 My only issue is your closing line. While one can certainly feel their eyes rolling, would one say it? I suggest a re-work of that line - perhaps incorporating 'audience' or 'crowd' in there instead? I would think they couldn't resist rolling their eyes, more so than feeling them roll. Cheers ~Cleo ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
|
|
|
Posts in this topic
Peggy Carpenter Harwood Man From Bolling (Revision) May 26 09, 20:50 
Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Cleo,
Thanks for the excellent idea!! ... May 28 09, 23:50 Cleo_Serapis Much better Peggy!
YAY for you!
~Cleo May 29 09, 05:29 Larry Hey Peggy,
I think I knew a guy like that once. ... May 29 09, 17:35 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Larry,
Thank you for reading, commenting and s... May 30 09, 20:22 merle Very entertaining!
There's a man who str... May 31 09, 03:24 
Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi merle,
Thanks for reading!!! This... Jun 5 09, 10:12 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
 |
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 27th June 2025 - 17:49 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
