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> Windy Bill (metrical revision 16 May 2009), limerick
Maggie
post Mar 22 09, 05:15
Post #1


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Joined: 29-May 06
From: US East Coast
Member No.: 185
Real Name: Peggy Harwood
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:just wandered in



Windy Bill (metrical revision)

Windy Bill was a cowboy from Butte
who so dearly loved beans and his flute.
After chow he would blow
from his head to his toe.
Such a gassy old flute-tooting coot!

Peggy Carpenter Harwood




Windy Bill (Original)

Windy Bill was a cowboy from Butte
who dearly loved beans and his flute.
After chow he would blow
from his head to his toe,
that gassy old flute-tooting coot!

Peggy Carpenter Harwood


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ace
post Mar 26 09, 15:34
Post #2


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Member No.: 361
Real Name: Ross Baird
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Mysty



Peggy:

Like Steve...love it.

Naturally two small nits:
Would second line scan better as "who loves his beans and his flute"; your line seems to have one too many syllables.
Line 4..."toe" will rhyme better and doesn't change the sense.

The last line is absolutely perfect.


ace
 
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