Poltergeist, lyric Options

[Merlin]

Here's a shorty, note that the writer and narrator are not the same.



Poltergeist

When evening shadows grope
over the boxwood hedge,
screeches careen into my ears
here in this blue-lit room
where twilight shelters me
but still that poltergeist appears.

There’s nowhere left I can run
and nothing more for me to do.
What’s that? I hear footsteps. *
There’s nobody here!
No-one is near,
no dreaded incubus, **
no evil voodoo spell,
no booze to paralyze my fear.


* formerly 1 sentence with comma.
** originally phantom incubus,
leading to probable tautology, thx Jax

[Sekhmet]

Hello Merlin. And what a jolly, spooky spine- chiller you have given us!
It is great as it stands, but I need to practice my crit skills on someone – so I have interfered,
(having no, ‘ Malice Aforethought’) with your ‘Poltergeist’. Your skills are greater than my own – so if you dislike my tentative suggestions - bin the lot ‘em.
Best wishes
Leonora

Poltergeist

When evening shadows grope
over the boxwood hedge;
crashes* careen into my ears.

Here, in this blue-lit room,
where twilight shelters me -
the Poltergeist’s ** attack appears.

Nowhere left where I can run.
And nothing more for me to do.
What’s that I hear? - Footsteps?

There’s nothing*** here.
No-one is near.
No dreaded incubus,

No evil voodoo spell.
And, what’s much worse - ****
No booze to paralyze my fear.

* I believe that the poltergeist does not, itself, make noises of any kind. It is an invisible, silent spirit. There are , however, often the sounds of china breaking, and objects being hurled around. So if you are alone in the house, any screeches would be your own. Quite possible of course! :)

** Poltergeists are invisible – it is the effects of their actions that are observed – smashed china for instance.
*** Nobody here & No-one is near are very similar, so possibly, ‘ nothing ’ might work better here?
**** I have taken the liberty of breaking your poem into three-line verses, and needed an extra line here to make it balance,

Part of the description of Poltergeists found in Encarta Poltergeists are always invisible; their actions usually centre on a home or workplace, and are experienced as mildly frightening and malicious recurrent events for which there is no other discernible cause: crockery leaps from shelves, pictures rotate on the wall, windows shatter, objects emerge from locked cupboards or spontaneously catch fire, light bulbs explode, and telephones malfunction, or, more alarmingly, stones or nails. fall from the air.