 Senile Cat - Senyru, First attempt . |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
  Feb 15 09, 12:05
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#1
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 Greek  Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all  |
In this Senyru, the number of dots indicate the length of time the cat watches the mouse hole -
each dot = 10 minutes. I will attempt a comment within the week! =========================================================================== First Revision Senile cat watches those dark,alluring mouseholes... ... meanwhile, mice eat cheese Leo ·······  ······· |
  
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Feb 18 09, 09:51
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,717 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Hi Leo,
There is absolutely nothing wrong (IMO) with your Senyru "Senile Cat". The only thing I would even think about changing is taking the dotted line out from between L2 & 3. As I stated in my prior answer, the Senyru is supposed to be humorous, satirical or a thought provoking wry observation. Yours is all three! Please put it back. Yours is a lot better than many I've seen that didn't address any of these criteria and have had the misfortune of reading. This is a delight! Senile cat watches those dark,alluring mouseholes... Meanwhile, mice eat cheese. Larry ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner       |
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Posts in this topic
Sekhmet Senile Cat - Senyru Feb 15 09, 12:05 
ohsteve Leo, got to love those sneaky, squeaky meeses to p... Feb 15 09, 12:35 Eisa Hi Leo
I read your reply to Larry's senryu fi... Feb 16 09, 17:03 Larry Hey Leo,
Bring it back and re-post it. To get th... Feb 16 09, 17:28 Sekhmet Good morning Harry and Snow - Thank you both for... Feb 18 09, 03:03 Psyche Hi Leo!
Great to find you here! But ve... Feb 18 09, 20:27 ace Leo:
Without getting into the comment or no thing... Feb 25 09, 18:16 Sekhmet Hello, and thank you enormously - to all those de... Feb 26 09, 03:50 Larry Hello Leo,
Again I say, "Delightful". ... Feb 26 09, 18:54 
Psyche Hi Leo!
I'm SO pleased you re-posted your... Mar 2 09, 10:05 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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