Senile Cat - Senyru, First attempt . Options

[Sekhmet]

In this Senyru, the number of dots indicate the length of time the cat watches the mouse hole -
each dot = 10 minutes. I will attempt a comment within the week!
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First Revision

Senile cat watches
those dark,alluring mouseholes...
... meanwhile, mice eat cheese

Leo

[Eisa]

Hi Leo

I read your reply to Larry's senryu first & have put 3 links in my reply there for you to read.

I agree that these forms can be very difficult to understand, especially as there are differing opinions as to what is expected. I still find it hard to get my head round it all at times & wish the 2 experts that started this forum hadn't left us to get on with this on our own!

It is a rule at MM that for every poem we post, we crit 2 others - that way everyone has comments on their poems & we get to know each other better.
I appreciate your difficulty in critiqing a form that you know little about (I've been there too!), so perhaps in your comments you could just say what you liked about the message, say if anything surprised you, give your interpretation (sometimes people see things in different ways) etc. Any comments would be appreciated.

It is quite ok to post your poem first, then make your 2 critiques afterwards (provided you don't leave it too long) and you shouldn't post a second poem in that forum until you have made the statutory critiques... so you can post your poem. I would very much like to read it, the title sounds intriguing! LOL!

We really don't want you to stay out of this forum as it is so little used and I'm sure everyone appreciates that this is new to you (it is new to a lot of others too) If you have any problems, don't hesitate to send me a message.

Snow