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> Poltergeist, lyric
Merlin
post Jan 1 09, 12:25
Post #1


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Posts: 2,085
Joined: 24-May 04
From: Time, Immoral
Member No.: 66
Writer of: Poetry



Here's a shorty, note that the writer and narrator are not the same.



Poltergeist

When evening shadows grope
over the boxwood hedge,
screeches careen into my ears
here in this blue-lit room
where twilight shelters me
but still that poltergeist appears.

There’s nowhere left I can run
and nothing more for me to do.
What’s that? I hear footsteps. *
There’s nobody here!
No-one is near,
no dreaded incubus, **
no evil voodoo spell,
no booze to paralyze my fear.


* formerly 1 sentence with comma.
** originally phantom incubus,
leading to probable tautology, thx Jax


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JaxMyth
post Jan 2 09, 10:05
Post #2


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Hi Merlin,

It seems accentual trimeter but L6 S2 does not satisfy.

When evening shadows grope
over the boxwood hedge, (Great opening.)
screeches careen into my ears (Can a screech careen?)
here in this blue-lit room (here in this twi-lit room)
where twilight shelters me
but still that poltergeist appears. (where the poltergeist appears.)

There’s nowhere left I can run
and nothing more for me to do.
What’s that? I hear footsteps, (Do poltergeists have footsteps?)
there’s nobody here!
No-one is near,
no phantom incubus, (Is an incubus not a phantom?)
no evil voodoo spell,
no booze to paralyze my fear.

It does appear to be a preliminary draft.

I hope that is of some use.

Regards,

Jax


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