Yesterday and Tomorrow, accentual tet. Options

[JaxMyth]

REVISION

Sunlight slips past the shade
and gilds the dust into fairy charms
I ache and make wish upon wish
to hold you forever here in my arms.

A mother’s heart is a bird in prison
with wings that shudder its cage of bone.
Feel, Child, feel them beating
hard and closely to your own.

Now’s time for prayer and time for bed.
You giggle, I laugh and I reach for your hair
but you hurry away from my hollow hand
up to the room at the top of the stair.

I open the door and turn on the light
...there’s no head on the pillow...nothing...no mark.
No sign of you Child...for no-one has been
inside my womb in the crabscuttled dark.

ORIGINAL

Sunlight slips past the shade
and gilds the dust into fairy charms
I ache and make wish upon wish
to hold you forever here in my arms.

A mother’s heart is a bird in prison.
A frantic shudder in a cage of bone.
Feel, Child, feel it beating
hard and closely to your own.

Now’s time for prayer and time for bed.
You giggle, I laugh and I reach for your hair
but you hurry away from my hollow hand
up to the room at the top of the stair.

I open the door and turn on the light
...there’s no head on the pillow...nothing...no mark.
No sign of you Child...for no-one has been
inside my womb in the crabscuttled dark.

[jgdittier]

Dear JM,
I still don't fully understand the all the aspects of accentual verse. It will be my project for the day.
Clement Wood cites Coleridge's "Christobel" as an early example and "The Listeners" by de la Mare.
I myself have written some verse in what I assumed to be accentual. I expect it more closely followed my habit of metric for rather diverging less from structured repetitive beat than accentual can do.
I wonder if I can find it and post it for comment.
It's a topic I surely need to study more.
Nicely done!
Cheers, ron jgdittier