 A Little Travelin` Music...., You arn`t going to be a Prom Queen forever. |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
| Guest_Xanadu_* |
 Nov 30 07, 14:37
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The pipes are clanging
The washer`s banging out an overload opus. The neighbors bitchin` at your kids screamin` through the halls, cause it`s a snow day. Your last cigarette curls white rings around high school memories; senior pictures smudged n`, suspended in smoke. This post has been edited by Xanadu: Dec 5 07, 18:00 |
  
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Dec 1 07, 02:54
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Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Linda,
Aha, now I see the "suspended" reasoning, and I think it works much better the way you have it now. In the "broken" line, I meant add the ' to the washer's, not at the end - you must think me crazy ! Also, btw, do not take what I say as given truth, I offer ideas, youare the one who can use or chuck them ! Love Alan ·······  ······· |
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Posts in this topic
Xanadu A Little Travelin` Music.... Nov 30 07, 14:37 
Alan Dear X,
definitely has the makings. Some thoughts... Nov 30 07, 16:04 Xanadu Thank you for pointing our my boo boos. I`ll r... Nov 30 07, 20:21 Xanadu Thanks Alan. I knew I had been instructed to add s... Dec 1 07, 10:51 
Xanadu I did some editing on this when I realized that I ... Dec 5 07, 18:04 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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