Hot Blooded !, Simple verse, end line rhyme (Revision- 10-02-07) Options

[4rum]

Written in tribute to Princess Iohagh

Hot Blooded


As dusky eve'n time descends
Chase the shadows ‘cross the glens
Tiny princess know her hour
To close the petals of each flower

Now take to wing pixie sprite
Much to do, for comes the night
Into the dark of dreams abyss
Seal each blossom with your kiss

Such charge is given Iohagh
Not a chore, but pleasure draw
From her power, grace and duty
She gives the world natures beauty

But of a night steeped in gloom
Aphids come to kill the bloom
And Iohagh alone doth stand
Before the murd’rous evil band

With legions legs do they walk
They pierce and suck each fragile stalk
A wave of death sweep o’re the glade

And Iohagh draw her blade…

With battle cry she make the fray
Parry, thrust then dance away
Forge again to fracas fierce
Her Elvin blade the evil pierce

And on and on and on t’ward morn
Though bruised and battered, sadly torn
The tiny princess cannot falter
She lay her fate at heavens alter


On weakened knee but strengthened prayer
She speak her vow into the air
“Oh Lord of day, Lord of night,”
“Hear my plea, see my plight,”

And in an instant flash of green
Come Ger-ta mighty mantis queen
With jagged lethal lightning claw
She stand her ground with Iohagh

On Ger-ta’s back in blueblack robe
The Watcher of all gardens rode
With magic sceptre held up high
He smite the aphid…and they die

Now Ger-ta gently in her maw
Take the broken Iohagh
And carry her to Watcher’s lair
Where he can mend the princess fair

With herb of land, sky and ocean
The Watcher conjure saving potion
A poultice, salves and sweet elixir

And maybe brandy, in the mixture

Took to the pixie in repose
Iohagh must pinch her nose
Against the putrid stench and stink
But she know, she must drink

Then come the sleep of all the ages
Dreams be spun from sooths and sages
And to her healing too they lend
The pow’r of love to help her mend

In sleep her power the Gods restore
And for her heart, they give her more
Through her veins, fire is flooded
When she wake, IOHAGH !… Hot Blooded!

[4rum]

Dear Michelle;

Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. As AMETHYST has pointed out, there are many improvements which will make this poem better. The archaic/poetic license I have taken is intentional. It is a combination of my very best goblinese/celtic/tv 'olden tongue'. While it piques the scholar to no end... it's waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than my pirate (coming soon to a forum near you!)

I'm including some of AMETHYST'S helpful suggestions now. I'm in no hurry, I will gladly wait for your ideas as well.

blessings
sam