 Haiku or not, Wizard Award ~ haiku without season |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Jun 1 07, 17:44
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny  |
4th version
 a soft kiss upon my skin snowflake With special thanks to Lary, Cleo, Liz and Snow. 3rd version softly as snowfall she kisses, I feel it not cool upon my skin 2nd version Softly like snowfall she kisses, I feel it not cold upon my skin 1st version Softly so softly
you kiss me, I felt it not not upon my skin ·······  ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner      |
  
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Sep 27 07, 08:18
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 Assyrian Posts: 181 Joined: 13-September 07 From: Conway, Arkansas Member No.: 468 Real Name: Pamela Writer of: Poetry Referred By:self |
You're so very welcome Terry...this modern formatted haiku gave me great pleasure! What do you mean by workshopped? Are there classes here? I've not quite got the hang of navigating, but I'm working on it...lol.
::Smiles:: Pami ······· ·······A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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Sep 27 07, 11:01
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 376 Joined: 28-May 07 From: Co. Galway, Ireland Member No.: 440 Real Name: Terry O C Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Ephiny |
Classes...here...?...Well, yes & no, by workshopping I mean the combined efforts of the resident poets and myself in this thread and others. All the advice is great and this ku definately reaped the rewards, if I do say so myself.
It works as long as you are comfortable to take some advice but not all. I sometimes feel like someone may be insulted by my not implimenting their suggestions, but the piece will be a mish-mash and my meaning will get lost if I were to do that, so its a good process as long as you know what you want and are stedfast in that. That said, sometimes a natural evolution takes place, and thats ok too. I think that happened with this one.  . ······· ·······Terry
light lights light --Raymond Rosliep "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." --Oscar Wilde MM Award Winner |
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Posts in this topic
Terocon101 Haiku or not Jun 1 07, 17:44 
laryalee Hi Terry,
it's nice to meet you!
This is s... Jun 1 07, 21:27 
Terocon101 Hi Lary,
the pleasures all mine. I'm glad you... Jun 2 07, 15:47 Eisa Hi Terry
I give a thumbs up to a tanka for this o... Jun 2 07, 04:50 Terocon101 QUOTE (Eisa @ Jun 2 07, 10:50 ) Hi Terry
... Jun 2 07, 15:51 Cleo_Serapis Hi Terry,
Welcome to our new forum!
On firs... Jun 2 07, 06:35 Terocon101 Hi Cleo,
thanks, I think you've hit the nail ... Jun 2 07, 15:59 Kathy Terocon wrote:
I want to make this fit into haiku ... Jun 2 07, 18:01 Terocon101 QUOTE (Kathy @ Jun 3 07, 00:01 ) Terocon ... Jun 3 07, 12:47 laryalee Hi Terry,
one thing that takes time to understand
... Jun 3 07, 00:05 Terocon101 Hi Lary,
I hear what your saying and I love your ... Jun 3 07, 13:10 AMETHYST Hello Terry,
I am a newbie in the world of Haiku... Jun 3 07, 14:02 Terocon101 [quote name='AMETHYST' date='Jun 3 07,... Jun 4 07, 17:22 laryalee Terry,
it's a delight to discuss this with you... Jun 3 07, 15:39 Terocon101 Hi Lary,
neighbour's field
newborn lambs play... Jun 4 07, 20:00 Terocon101 Whoops Jun 4 07, 20:05 Kathy QUOTE These bloody haiku
I dont really see the poi... Jun 4 07, 21:24 Terocon101 Kathy wrote,
Hahahaha Terry. You'll be glad t... Jun 5 07, 11:39 laryalee a soft kiss
upon my skin
snowflake
Terry, this is... Jun 5 07, 12:46 JustDaniel A wonderful discussion! Thank you all... and ... Jun 29 07, 19:46 Terocon101 Hello again Danny boy,
glad you enjoyed, I can ha... Jun 29 07, 20:38 Rosemerta Hey there, Terry,
It has been interesting readi... Jul 1 07, 14:02 Terocon101 QUOTE (Rosemerta @ Jul 1 07, 20:02 ) Hey ... Jul 9 07, 15:39 4rum Hey Terry...
I think when contemplating a new d... Jul 21 07, 17:38 Terocon101 Hi Sam,
firstly, it's a pleasure to meet you ... Jul 22 07, 16:35 4rum Morning Terry;
Part of the point there was in the... Jul 23 07, 04:31 JustDaniel ... but I think that others have well noted that 5... Jul 23 07, 09:28 Terocon101 Hey Daniel,
Yeah, I think we're all in mutual... Jul 23 07, 13:56 Lady Poet Yes! Yes! YES!!!
Terry your 4... Sep 27 07, 03:54 Terocon101 Hi Pami,
I have to say I'm happy with that ... Sep 27 07, 07:23 Cleo_Serapis Congrats Terry on your wizard award winning tile... Nov 4 07, 10:43 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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