Resilience ~ Revised 8/20/07, Quatern Options

[Guest_Cathy_*]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you Maxim, Nina, Merlin and Lori for revision 1!

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Resilience ~ Revision 3

If I were but a willow tree
in graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
with slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my flesh-born roots would stay their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; flying free.

When fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
in winter whites or summer's reign...
if I were but a willow tree,
the twisting curls of faith sustain.

Though limbs might waver in the wind,
emotions sway to some degree;
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov 2005





Resilience ~ Revision 2

If I were but a willow tree
in graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
with slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my deep-bound roots would stand their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; soaring free.

When fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
in winter white or sunlight reign;
if I were but a willow tree...
resilience and faith sustain.

Though limbs may waver in the wind,
might bend and sway to some degree;
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005




Resilience ~ Quatern (1st Revision)

If I were but a willow tree
with graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my deep-bound roots would stand their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; soaring free.

Though fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
through blizzard fall, or sunlight reign;
if I were but a willow tree,
there'd be no reason to complain.

My limbs would waver in the wind,
I'd bend and sway to some degree;
storm-battered branches would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005



Resilience ~ Quatern (Original)

If I could be a willow tree
with graceful swaying flow of leaf,
slender bough of give and take,
and tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

with deep-bound roots I'd stand my ground.
If I could be a willow tree,
my ribbons green would wave so proud,
as one with nature; yet still free.

The storms could rage and winds might blow,
a blizzard fall, or sun sans rain;
if I were but a willow tree,
I'd have no reason to complain.

My limbs would waver in the wind,
I'd bend and sway, it might hurt me;
from broken vow I would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005

[AMETHYST]

Hi Cathy,

First, I have nominated this for IBPC in Sept. It is such a worthy poem, the images and sounds, along with a complimentary beat through out brings this to life and you've met the form with grace and charm. The subject and how you've made use of sounds help the form to shine.

I will keep me thoughts toward the revision, anyway ... Beautiful poetry!

Hugs, Liz

Resilience ~ Revision 2

If I were but a willow tree
in graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
with slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

Not a nit to my ear and eye in this first stanza. A nice amount of alliteration and sounds blending into one another give this opening a thumbs up. L1/L2 are very strong hooks into the poem,

my deep-bound roots would stand their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; soaring free.

L1, '... deep-bound sounds off to my ear. I feel as though deep should get a strong stress but doesn't naturally when followed by 'bound' which holds too much stress ...

How about ...

my deeper bound roots stand their ground

In L3, I love the sounds 'verdant/bands/brandish' it rolls off my tongue with ease,like silk just beautiful.


When fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
in winter white or sunlight reign;
if I were but a willow tree...
resilience and faith sustain.

L4, feels stumbly. I think I scan it as ...

reSIL i ence and FAITH susTAIN

Perhaps ... resilience, faith can sustain.

Though limbs may waver in the wind,
might bend and sway to some degree;
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Perhaps ...

Though limbs may waver in the wind;
bend back or sway to some degree,
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

:

This is delicious ... Hugs, Liz