Mirage Options

[Guest_Dove_*]

Mirage


Weeping sweat.
Inverted asphalt.
Bare feet.
I lick salt from my upper lip.

Warm air comes from the fan.
Wet hair.
Itchy skin.
Dare not move.
Stuck to the vinyl couch.

Peel me like an apple.
Unglue the clothes from my skin.
Cold washcloth has gone hot.
Breathing on ice cubes.
Exhaustion seeps through the pores.

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Jessica,
Oh that icky feeling. This is such an intensive characterization of one of those moments. The desperation of trying to cool off.
Ice cubes for everyone.
Larry

[Guest_Dove_*]

Oh that icky feeling. This is such an intensive characterization of one of those moments. The desperation of trying to cool off.
Ice cubes for everyone.

Larry---
just trying to warm it up around here. its been pouring for days, it seems. mother nature is getting ready for winter and I miss the sun.   thank you for stopping in.

[Cybele]

Good Morning

I do look forward to reading your poems. They are so very individually "yours".

This one is no exception. I know this feeling so well, from spending seven years in the tropics.  Just one tiny thing puzzles me,


Weeping sweat.
Inverted asphalt.
Bare feet.
I lick salt from my upper lip.

I don't quite understand L2. Could you explain please?

Wonderful read, as usual  


Love

Grace  

[Guest_Dove_*]

I do look forward to reading your poems. They are so very individually "yours".
thank you.

Just one tiny thing puzzles me,

Weeping sweat.
Inverted asphalt.
Bare feet.
I lick salt from my upper lip.

I don't quite understand L2. Could you explain please?

Cybele---
I was actually wondering to myself if i should re-write this in a different form, with either semi-colons and complete sentences where there might seem a lack of. i'm not for sure and i think not ready to climb that steep mountain of deep and total editting.

as to your question. "inverted asphalt" was meant to describe a road mirage...while walking on bare feet, outside under the sun down the street...the road warps under my sight...from halluncination...from heat stroke.

[Guest_Pygmalion_*]

hi jess!

you lived in the tropics, huh!  sounds cool (er, hot).  down here in 'bama can be hot as well.  i certainly know the feeling you described very well.

i remember a time my sis & i traveled to boston one very hot summer.  left home in july with temps in the high 90's and humidity also in the 90's.  got to boston & that nite on the news they described the next day as being warm & humid: 75 degrees & 35% humidity!

sounded warm & humid to us!

stay cool,

deb

[Guest__*]

Makes me tired just to think of all that heat, Jess.
It's a mild November day in Liverpool. The temp. is 5 degrees Centigrade, and we are promised that we shall be snug and cosy indoors tonight when outside, the Mersey wind will bring a cool -1 .

75 is a heat wave.  

Hugz

Tom
.

[Guest_Lecta_*]

I like it! I enjoyed how you conveyed the image so well! Great job!

~Lecta~