Slick Mick, Disco days Options

[Guest_Billydo_*]

click

slick Mick lighter flick
check chick scope
liquid brown hair
sky high hope
cocoa eyes
sleek sultry thighs
chocolate skin

lick teeth
palm breath
check her vector
touch zip
cruise
wobbly walk
ooze booze
smooth schmooze

dance?
romance a chance?
later maybe worry a curry?
not on your nellie
she'd rather watch telly
snarling lips curled
the last man in the world!
rejected dejected drunk and

ejected

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Mike,

Can't stop to crit now but just wanted to say I liked it. Youth in a disposable cartridge.

Also, I usually urge people to excise cliches - but not this one... "not on your nellie" - how wonderful to see that in a poem. Brill!

See you later for more, I hope.

Well done,

James.

[Guest__*]

Dear Mick,

There is no way to crit this ! A totally unique perspective, again accurately observed, and laid down in a rather minimalist way to complete the picture.

Seems to be you've been watching "Bouncer" (Hull Trucking Co), as this treads the same territory. Mind you, theirs took all night !

Loved the last lines.

Love
Alan

PS What DID you do with all these thoughts you must have been having all these years, before you recently became a writer ?

[Cybele]

Good morning Mick,

Love it. Love it!  Couldn't keep a smile off my face all the way through.  

Ralph once told me a story of a conference he attended, (before I met him) when he had an upset stomach so decided he wouldn't have a drink in the evenng.

He spent the time watching his normal well-balanced friends getting gradually drunker (and greyer) and ever more convinced of their irresistability to women. They all fell into bed alone (those that made it.) One fell alseep half in and half out of an opening and shutting lift!

Your poem is a perfect illustration to that little ancedote. Brought back a wonderful memory for me.    Thank you very much.

[Guest_Billydo_*]

Hi Alan

I don't know what "Bouncer" is. Thanks for calling me a writer, you're the first.

What did I do with all the ideas? I think they just leaked away. My best friend and his brother died within a few weeks of each other last summer, both of the same genetic blood clotting illness. We were devastated. Over the last few months the pain has started to dull and I have been waking up with either the image of a poem or the idea of a poem in my mind. I write to see him smile, laugh or gasp, and to honour him.

I have written several poems about the death. Some I might post on the site; others are far too dark.

I've been working like a nutter over the past weeks and, feeling a little low yesterday lunchtime, remembering Mike, I thought to write a death poem, but I remembered our nights in discos in our teens and this poured out. A little exaggeration made it funny. It was written in less than ten minutes.

I am pleased you enjoyed it.

Thanks again.

Cheers

Mike

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Mike,

I hope you do feel able to post your darker poems when you get your Gold membership... I think some of your poems (brutal minimalism) are very hard to follow but when one does break in the rewards are excellent. In fact, since my poems are hard to follow anyway, I'm thinking of trying to be even more minimalist myself, inspired by your approach.

Many of my poems are about political suppression, death and misery (though not all!) so I can emphasise with your stance there. However, I have not had your losses and I can only sympathise in that respect.

Suggestion: keep a small note book / Dictaphone with you at all times. Don't let those ideas escape back into the ether, even when you are hard at work. Jot them down for future use.

All the best, J.

[Guest_Billydo_*]

Hi Grace

Thank you. I'm pleased you enjoyed. I must admit that I was laughing as I wrote.

Cheers

Mike

[Guest_Billydo_*]

James, I don't know what to say except thanks, and I will take your advice.

Cheers

Mike

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Mike,    

This really brought back memories of those oh-so-cool dudes lurching across the dancefloor after a few too many lagers, checking for bad breath and not realising that the girls are watching.

Do keep writing - funny or sad. As James says, there is another forum on the site for darker or more sensual works which you will soon become eligible to view and use.

Fran

[Guest__*]

Dear Mike,

"Bouncers" is a very funny play in which 4 men play all the parts, the bouncers, the 4 lads, the four girls, and it is about a nightclub where they all intermingle, aim to get pulled, pull, whatever, highly recommended.

You say "and, feeling a little low yesterday lunchtime, remembering Mike,"

I've had several friends (and a wife) die over the years, and I think I can understand what you feel, but there is one certainty that I have which always kept me a cause - the only thing that dies is a body, the being remains exactly as before, if admittedly a little more difficult to communicate with.

Therefore you are doing the exactly right thing in writing for him/them, for I strongly suspect that "your feeling a little low" is your friend being in touch.

Christianity, I think, is the only major world religion which does not have the concept of the being living on, although a garbled version could be "your soul goes to heaven" - no, one IS one's soul, more accurate to say the being (oneself) has "left the body".

The ancient Greeks had it that "man is a spirit clothed in flesh", and as with any clothing, it wears out ....

Keep remembering your friend, and keep writing to make him laugh - he IS !

Love
Alan

[Guest_Billydo_*]

Hi Fran

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. As to the writing, I don't think I can stop now.

Hi Alan

I suppose it depends on where or what Heaven is. I don't yet feel connected to my friend's spirit but I think that is only because grief gets in the way. I feel sure that I will be one day, though.

I think he is laughing as well. I hope so.

Thanks Alan

Cheers

Mike

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Billydo,


A canter into canteen to dunk a dram
to flirt with fillys who won't give a damn.

Enjoyed your minimalist verse.

Don

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Mike

I enjoyed your minimalist poem and it reminded memy of my feelings of dread when yet another enebriated man lurched across the dance floor thinking I'd find him irresistable.

I too would like to read some of your darker works when you get your Gold membership and can post in the sanctuary or if they are only slightly dark, when they are posted in here or Hermes.

Nina

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Mike,

Great avatar - is it fireworks or something sub-atomic? And where did you get it from, please? (Just being nosey).

By the way, it is rather appropriate for your poetry hitherto - light in the dark.

James.

[Guest_Billydo_*]

Hi James

This is one of the photographs I took of the closing fireworks display at a concert party at Tatton last Summer.

Cheers

Mike