Lover's Locket, Wizard and Mod Choice Winner Options

[Eisa]

Moderator Choice Award

*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs


*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

Lover's Locket ( new title for The Lucky Locket)


They clung  in passion -- long embraces,
sadly kissed goodbye while tears
of desperation stained their faces;
coming battles fuelled their fears.
He wore her gift against his chest
amidst the trench filled battle zones.
She soldiered on, although depressed;
his destination was unknown.

The lucky bean-shaped locket hung
upon it’s chain, beneath his shirt.
A sudden burst of bullets stunned
him, threw him down -- almost unhurt.
One bullet nearly killed him, struck
him near his heart but hit the charm
and ricocheted -- no stroke of luck.
Her love had kept him safe from harm.

The treasured locket’s kept inside
my `reminiscence box’ today,  
inherited with heart-felt pride
when my dear father passed away.
His parents lived this touching tale
of love, the seedling family tree;  
their golden heirloom still prevails --
a keepsake genealogy.

[Guest__*]

Dear Snow,

Although this could be "a poet's view" I do believe that this is really your family history ?

Wow.

And that goes for the poem as well.

2 tiny nits :

amidst the trench-filled battle zones. < --------- I think that needs the hyphen ?
She soldiered on, although depressed;
his destination was unknown.

and, in 2nd-last line, there is a random extra space twixt words.

May I also ask you to consider the title ? I don't think "luck" had anything to do with it - how about "His Lover's Locket" ? or "The Lovers' Locket" ?

Love
Alan

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Eisa

What a lovely story you tell in this poem.  I hope it is true. Can you still see the mark from the bullet.

I hesitate to make any suggestions because I don't want to mess up your meter so I'll just say that I really enjoyed the poem.

Nina

[Cybele]

Hello Eisa,

Well you know this romantic tale would have enormous appeal for me.
I like your skillful ryhming here, so smooth it is hardly noticed.

I don't want to spoil anything by critting your lovely piece Eisa, but I do agree with Alan that The Lover's Locket (or something similar) would be a far more romantic title.

Just think, no locket - no Eisa! (Presuming it is a true story?)  

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Eisa,

What a wonderful tale. a few milimetres of symbolic love saving him from death, and written so smoothly.

I do hope you'll keep a copy of the poem in that 'reminiscence box', too?

Fran

[JustDaniel]

Greetings again, Snow!

Since I've already been through the battle trenches (where I think the hyphen might be preferred, though modernists would likely disagree) with you on this one, let me merely say here that I have all along thought that luck had not a thing to do with what happened... but then that's just my point of view, most would say...

but I do like Alan's suggestion nonetheless.

As I told you before, I believe this is just right as it is!

deLightingly, Daniel  :sun:

[Eisa]

Hello Alan    

Yes -- this really is my family history. Great!

Thank you for offering your help here. I really do like the idea for a change of title and will certainly use one of your suggestions.

Love  Snow  

[Eisa]

Hi Eisa

What a lovely story you tell in this poem.  I hope it is true. Can you still see the mark from the bullet.

I hesitate to make any suggestions because I don't want to mess up your meter so I'll just say that I really enjoyed the poem.

Nina

Hi Nina  :wave:

Yes the story here is true. My Grandfather tried to take the dent out of the locket, but it still looks a bit mis-shapen.

Glad you enjoyed it.  :)

Snow  :cheer:

[Eisa]

Hello Grace  :wave:

That is so true -- no locket, no Eisa!  :sun:

I do so agree with a change in title to Lover's Locket -- much more romantic.  :cloud9:

Thanks Grace

Love Snow

[Eisa]

Hi Fran  

Yes it is a great tale and one I hope to tell my grandchildren (if I have any)

I do hope you'll keep a copy of the poem in that 'reminiscence box', too?

What a wonderful idea -- I will remember to do that.

Thanks

Snow  :cheer:

[Eisa]

Hi Daniel  :wave:

Good to see you again on this one -- you have already been a tremendous help with it.  :pharoah2

I have to agree that luck certainly didn't have anything to do with this and might change that line to

".......no stroke of luck"

Thanks again

Snow

[Guest_Billydo_*]

Hi Snow

What a delightful poem and fabulous story. I really enjoyed it.

Cheers

Mike

[Eisa]

Hi Snow

What a delightful poem and fabulous story. I really enjoyed it.

Cheers

Mike

Hi Mike ( same name as my husband)

I don't think I've met you before -- thanks for your nice comments. I'm glad you enjoyed this.


Snow  :cheer:

[Cleo_Serapis]

Congrats Snow on your Mod Choice award winning tile!

Well done!

~Cleo :)

[Eisa]

Oh wow Lori! -- I'm away for a while and I come back to 2 awards  :cheer: -- that's great. Thank you so much I hope nothing crops up to keep me away for so long again.

Hugs

Snow

[Cleo_Serapis]

Well deserved Snow!

I hope so too! Look forward to reading more of your poetry soon!

~Cleo

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Congratulations Snow on your Mod Choice Award!  

I love the poem!  I hope it's true, such a beautiful story.

Cathy

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Snow

Well done for your award for this piece.   A lovely story a?nd well deserved.  It is good to see you on MM again.  

Are you able to join us in Winchester next Friday 23 September for our MM Pub Meet.  It would be lovely to see you

Nina

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Congratulations, Snow

A wonderful poem and well deserved.

Fran

[Arnfinn]

Hi Eisa,


This type of poem is totally right up my alley. Truth is stranger that fiction,they say, and this is an engrossing piece of poetry.


Congradulations.

:pharoah2



John