Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Unnoticed
Aphrodite
post Mar 3 07, 12:37
Post #1


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
jgdittier
post Mar 4 07, 12:27
Post #2


Creative Chieftain
*****
Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 1,802
Joined: 24-April 04
From: Connecticut
Member No.: 58

Real Name: Ron Jones
Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (Aphrodite @ Mar 3 07, 17:37 ) *
I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007

Dear Lindi,
I certainly hope your ability to express emotions was at play rather than true emotions.
This piece packs a wallop and certainly is a success as to achieving its aims.
If you must "roll away" I wish it to be to Shangra La.
Cheers, Ron jgd


IPB

Ron Jones

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 4 07, 12:36
Post #3


Mosaic Master
Group Icon
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,579
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2

Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



WOW Lindi - what a poignant piece!

The Narrator is this one is certainly at odds and you've written each word so meticulously and with much thought behind them.

This is certainly an eye-opening in the voice portrayed.

Well done!
~Cleo claps.gif


IPB

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 4 07, 12:39
Post #4


Mosaic Master
Group Icon
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,579
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2

Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



BTW I love your new avatar - is this one of your own pics?


IPB

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
JustDaniel
post Mar 5 07, 00:32
Post #5


Ornate Oracle
******
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 6,754
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6

Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Wow, Lindi...

I'm sorry that I'd not noticed this one... 'cause it's mighty powerful. I've met this ball, been with a box full of them... and even been this ball. I know the powerful lying truth of this one inside and out.

Again, all I can say is WOW!

sLightly stunned, Daniel sun.gif


IPB

Slow down; things will go faster!

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Aphrodite
post Mar 6 07, 17:33
Post #6


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Mar 4 07, 17:36 ) *
WOW Lindi - what a poignant piece!

The Narrator is this one is certainly at odds and you've written each word so meticulously and with much thought behind them.

This is certainly an eye-opening in the voice portrayed.

Well done!
~Cleo claps.gif


Hi Lori, Snowflake.gif

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment so thoroughly on my piece.

Thanks a bunch and stay warm!

Lindi


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Aphrodite
post Mar 6 07, 17:40
Post #7


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (jgdittier @ Mar 4 07, 17:27 ) *
QUOTE (Aphrodite @ Mar 3 07, 17:37 ) *
I want to pull my body up from
my toes and over my head,

so I am inside out. To hide eyes of
self-deprecation and ears blasting

with screams of lies and deception.

I want to bury the foul stench of hypocrisy
heaped high on plates of selfishness,

which paralyzes from dishonesty
as my skin crawls with sneaky spiders

leaving every hair standing.

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

Like a bouncing ball, round and perfectly
unnoticed,

I want to roll away and hide.
©Linda Balboni 2007

Dear Lindi,
I certainly hope your ability to express emotions was at play rather than true emotions.
This piece packs a wallop and certainly is a success as to achieving its aims.
If you must "roll away" I wish it to be to Shangra La.
Cheers, Ron jgd


Hello Ron, Snowflake.gif

I apologize as I almost missed your comments.

Hmmmm.....Shangra La sounds tempting, and I appreciate your well-constructed comments.

I am glad that you felt the "sting" from my poem, and that is precisely what I tried to achieve.

Have a wonderful evening! Artist.gif

Lindi


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Aphrodite
post Mar 6 07, 17:48
Post #8


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Mar 5 07, 05:32 ) *
Wow, Lindi...

I'm sorry that I'd not noticed this one... 'cause it's mighty powerful. I've met this ball, been with a box full of them... and even been this ball. I know the powerful lying truth of this one inside and out.

Again, all I can say is WOW!

sLightly stunned, Daniel sun.gif

Hello Daniel, mickeymouse.gif

I appreciate you reading and commenting on another one of my poems! Yes, there are times that life really brings overwhelming challenges.
I guess being sensitive,as we are, really brings emotions to the surface!

Stay warm and be well. minniemouse.gif

Lindi


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
4rum
post Sep 13 07, 04:02
Post #9


Assyrian
**
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 269
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456

Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A



Often the need for escape is the inspiration for a great write. Whether into fantasy, adventure, love or inner turmoil, it brings out the emotions. You've let youself 'feel' this write. It has come from within. Very provocative!


IPB

Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Aphrodite
post Sep 27 07, 16:30
Post #10


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (4rum @ Sep 13 07, 09:02 ) *
Often the need for escape is the inspiration for a great write. Whether into fantasy, adventure, love or inner turmoil, it brings out the emotions. You've let youself 'feel' this write. It has come from within. Very provocative!

Hello 4rum,

I appreciate you commenting on my poem and "feeling" it. wink.gif

I look forward to reading some of your work soon!

Take care.

Lindi


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Lady Poet
post Sep 27 07, 17:11
Post #11


Assyrian
**
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 181
Joined: 13-September 07
From: Conway, Arkansas
Member No.: 468

Real Name: Pamela
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:self



Oh my dear!

You've just described most of my life...I guess I didn't have to tell you that, but I wanted
you to know how much I empathised with this heart wrenchingly poignant poem. A truly great write! I paricularly was drawn to:

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

While I have felt that many times, still I am grateful for the experience of pain and the inner bleeding of unseen wounds, for to overcome them, makes us stronger, and by writing them out gives us insight into our own psyche and souls. I may be speaking out of turn, the statement is true of me.

I love your ball metaphor. There are no changes I could possibly offer for this brilliantly evocative work of heart.

Blessings, Pami butterfly.gif


IPB

A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Aphrodite
post Sep 30 07, 08:42
Post #12


Laureate Legionnaire
****
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7

Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (Lady Poet @ Sep 27 07, 22:11 ) *
Oh my dear!

You've just described most of my life...I guess I didn't have to tell you that, but I wanted
you to know how much I empathised with this heart wrenchingly poignant poem. A truly great write! I paricularly was drawn to:

To be small and inanimate,
let me feel nothing, let my heart be hollow

to never bleed.

While I have felt that many times, still I am grateful for the experience of pain and the inner bleeding of unseen wounds, for to overcome them, makes us stronger, and by writing them out gives us insight into our own psyche and souls. I may be speaking out of turn, the statement is true of me.

I love your ball metaphor. There are no changes I could possibly offer for this brilliantly evocative work of heart.

Blessings, Pami butterfly.gif


Hi Pami,

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Believe me when I say, I have a full and rich life, a nice husband, incredible children and a very close family, still, there are times I want to run and hide!

I suppose we all feel like that once and a while! (obviously, the day I wrote this poem, I really needed to run away from reality) running.gif

Thanks again for your feedback and have a great day!

Lindi


IPB

"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
    +  Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topicStart new topic

 




RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd July 2014 - 09:20



Read our FLYERS - click below


Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning your writings. ENJOY!



Dictionary.com ~ Thesaurus.com

Search:
for
Type in a word below to find its rhymes, synonyms, and more:

Word: