 Monochrome Rainbows - revised 8/25/06, an oldie |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
  Jul 29 06, 18:47
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#1
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Monochrome Rainbows I am gray… Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. I am white… Specks of emotion surface squalls of insightful conversation commanding ambiguous conditions. I am yellow… Freedom surges forth in bursts of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I am pink… Contentment illustrates passage to imagination; sprinkling star-dusted dreams with fanciful measure. I am clear… Balancing Ying and Yang: a strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. Copyright © 2006 Lorraine M Kanter Revisions: -S3 was: Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. -deleted 'an' strenous. This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Aug 26 06, 09:54 ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Jul 30 06, 08:27
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#2
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Good morning Lori!
Interesting piece ... assigning a color to human attributes. That's how I see it anyway. Although I don't think any one of us is just one color, so I may be way off! lol I am gray… Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. Getting bogged down in stress does color one's world gray. And it's hard to change that sometimes. I am white… Specks of emotion surface squalls of insightful conversation commanding ambiguous conditions. I am yellow… Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I don't quite understand this line ... morsels of what? You could also say... Freedom bursts, rays of shimmmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I am pink… Contentment illustrates passage to imagination; sprinkling star-dusted dreams with fanciful measure. Lovely thought! I am clear… Balancing Ying and Yang: an strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. This is what we should strive for: balance within ourselves bringing about inner peace. In turn, we look at others differently and realize the good in each. Of course, use or lose as you wish! *smiles* Cathy |
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Aug 7 06, 18:53
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#3
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Cathy.
 QUOTE(Cathy @ Jul 30 06, 09:27 ) [snapback]79947[/snapback] Good morning Lori! Interesting piece ... assigning a color to human attributes. That's how I see it anyway. Although I don't think any one of us is just one color, so I may be way off! lol Thanks Cathy! I like trying to express attributes of daily observations - this was an oldie Pandora I think ? or challenge that tipped me off down this path. QUOTE Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. Getting bogged down in stress does color one's world gray. And it's hard to change that sometimes. Absolutely! Sometimes, it feels as though I'm drowning in confusion. QUOTE Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I don't quite understand this line ... morsels of what? You could also say... Freedom bursts, rays of shimmmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. Morsels or tidbits of freedom (the light beyond the sea of confusion). Not sure that your suggestion maintains what I mean - will ponder... QUOTE Contentment illustrates passage to imagination; sprinkling star-dusted dreams with fanciful measure. Lovely thought! Thanks!  QUOTE Balancing Ying and Yang: an strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. This is what we should strive for: balance within ourselves bringing about inner peace. In turn, we look at others differently and realize the good in each. Of course, use or lose as you wish! *smiles* Cathy Of course, but it's not as easy as it seems. Too much 'interference' clouding a peaceful sky (mind) in any given day... It really is a balancing act.  I often find strength by watching others, especially at work and here - I learn much from colleagues.  Thanks for stopping in Cathy! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Aug 8 06, 12:31
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#4
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Hi Lori,
QUOTE Hi Cathy. (Cathy @ Jul 30 06, 09:27 ) Good morning Lori! Interesting piece ... assigning a color to human attributes. That's how I see it anyway. Although I don't think any one of us is just one color, so I may be way off! lol Thanks Cathy! I like trying to express attributes of daily observations - this was an oldie Pandora I think ? or challenge that tipped me off down this path. I must have missed that challenge!  QUOTE Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. Getting bogged down in stress does color one's world gray. And it's hard to change that sometimes. Absolutely! Sometimes, it feels as though I'm drowning in confusion. I know what you mean! lol QUOTE Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I don't quite understand this line ... morsels of what? You could also say... Freedom bursts, rays of shimmmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. Morsels or tidbits of freedom (the light beyond the sea of confusion). Not sure that your suggestion maintains what I mean - will ponder... I get it! Thanks for the explanation! QUOTE Contentment illustrates passage to imagination; sprinkling star-dusted dreams with fanciful measure. Lovely thought! Thanks! Your welcome! QUOTE Balancing Ying and Yang: an strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. This is what we should strive for: balance within ourselves bringing about inner peace. In turn, we look at others differently and realize the good in each. Of course, use or lose as you wish! *smiles* Cathy Of course, but it's not as easy as it seems. Too much 'interference' clouding a peaceful sky (mind) in any given day... It really is a balancing act. I often find strength by watching others, especially at work and here - I learn much from colleagues. Yes, that helps sometimes! Thanks for stopping in Cathy! Your welcome!! Ta!Ta! |
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Aug 8 06, 18:01
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#5
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Lori
Well, I believe 'we are'/'life is' all made up of various colours and this was a pleasure to read. I am gray… Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. I sensed the confusion here -- I always feel confused on gray days. I am white… Specks of emotions surface squalls of insightful conversation commanding ambiguous conditions. I am yellow… Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I love the warmth of this stanza. Perhaps L1 -- Freedom surges, bursting in rays of shimmering delights I am pink… Contentment illustrates passage to imagination; sprinkling star-dusted dreams with fanciful measure. I am clear… Balancing Ying and Yang: an strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. L 2 ~Should it be 'a' strenuous achievement? Well Lori ... there really isn't anything to nit here ~ just a few thoughts Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner    |
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Aug 26 06, 09:45
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#6
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE(Cathy @ Aug 8 06, 13:31 ) [snapback]80715[/snapback] QUOTE Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I don't quite understand this line ... morsels of what? You could also say... Freedom bursts, rays of shimmmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. Morsels or tidbits of freedom (the light beyond the sea of confusion). Not sure that your suggestion maintains what I mean - will ponder... I get it! Thanks for the explanation! Ta!Ta! Hi Cathy.  I could revise it to say: Freedom surges forth in bursts of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. ? What do you think? Cheers ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Aug 26 06, 09:51
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#7
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Snow.
QUOTE(Eisa @ Aug 8 06, 19:01 ) [snapback]80726[/snapback] Hi Lori Well, I believe 'we are'/'life is' all made up of various colours and this was a pleasure to read. Thank you Snow! I am gray… Clouds of confusion form monochrome rainbows anchored in a sea of seedy scavengers. I sensed the confusion here -- I always feel confused on gray days. Me too, and its compounded when others try to make it gray! I am yellow… Bursts of freedom surge forth rays of shimmering delights disclosed in mouthwatering morsels. I love the warmth of this stanza. Perhaps L1 -- Freedom surges, bursting in rays of shimmering delights Thanks again! I wanted to keep each stanza to 3 lines (I know its FV but I can't help myself, LOL). I did just reply to Cathy with an alternate - what do you think of it? I am clear… Balancing Ying and Yang: an strenuous achievement worth finding the rainbow in all. L 2 ~Should it be 'a' strenuous achievement? Oops!  Yes it should Snow. TY! Well Lori ... there really isn't anything to nit here ~ just a few thoughts Snow Always a pleasure to hear your feedback Snow. Thanks again! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Sep 2 06, 12:48
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#8
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no monocrome rainbows for me thanks I see every color of the rainbow and every color should be used....
Steve |
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Sep 9 06, 07:59
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#9
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE(ohsteve @ Sep 2 06, 13:48 ) [snapback]82380[/snapback] no monocrome rainbows for me thanks I see every color of the rainbow and every color should be used.... Steve Hi Steve. Surely, at one time or another, the colors aren't so clear?  Thanks for stopping by! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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