Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less] Options

[JustDaniel]

all denying us
fellow-poets departed
leaving us to age
and falteringly scribble
our increasingly dim thoughts

[Larry]

Increasingly dim
is our beacon of a truth
we share on a whim.
Lack of critique is uncouth
like some gin without Vermouth.

[JustDaniel]

no gin or vermouth
or any kind of liquor
or even a beer
seventy-eight years sober
with nary a sober thought

[Larry]

With each sober thought
my sweet wife celebrated
three decades of naught
but what God had created.
Sobriety elated!

[JustDaniel]

eject sobriety
with a slug of Jack Daniels
and a mug of beer
then hang out at local bar
'til they toss you in the street

[Larry]

Toss up in the street
is not my vision of fun.
It is not discreet
to reveal what you have done
when beer-pong makes stomachs run.

[JustDaniel]

it isn't stomachs
that generally run
it's a bit lower
and it isn't so pretty
when it comes out in your pants

[Larry]

When your pants come out
of the laundry, you might think
that you’re getting stout
but then realize they shrink
from hot water in the sink.

[JustDaniel]

sink in hot water
for swallowing my dinner
I'd just set it there
to clear off the darned counter
but clicked garbage disposal

[Larry]

Dispose of garbage
in your back yard compost pile.
Grease goes in sewage!
You’ll get nice soil in a while
and that makes Mother Earth smile.

[JustDaniel]

Father Earth may scowl
if you keep calling Him Mom
have you checked pronouns?
in my writings, I'm pro-noun
but use adjectives, adverbs

[Larry]

Add verbs and pronouns
to give your writings action.
Just like adding herbs
makes plain food an attraction
and gives you satisfaction.

[JustDaniel]

for satisfaction
Chef Herb just stacked up the plates
the more the better
until they got sick of him
and heaved him in back alley

[Larry]

Heaving in alleys?
Then you went out the wrong door.
Down at O’Malley’s,
that is reserved for the poor
and you’ve puked on someone’s floor.

[JustDaniel]

puking on the floor
would be just another night
down at O'Malleys
they toss tossing customers
out into the back alleys

[Larry]

Into back alleys
are dregs of humanity
but no one tallies
the cost of insanity
due to human vanity.

[JustDaniel]

human vanity
ironically contains
a big, wide mirror
you've got to wonder whether
he ever looked into it!

[Larry]

Looking into wit,
he found that he possessed none
but he wouldn’t quit
so he kept writing for fun
and the occasional pun.

[JustDaniel]

occasional puns
somehow stir up his dad jokes
that overwhelm him
soon he's spouting one after
another and another

[Larry]

I note another
try and failure at humor
and to go further
I might produce a zoomer
but that is just a rumor.