Lira Options

[JustDaniel]

If you split with the money
the artists will probably try to sue you,
so days become less sunny
as you begin to accrue
darkness while you avoid your prison debut.

[Larry]

Avoid your prison debut
with clean noses and staying out of trouble
but you’ll blow it if you do
and your life will be rubble
so use Kleenex and keep it off your stubble.

[JustDaniel]

Keeping it off your stubble
while you're drinking hot chocolate topped with whipped cream
produces more than trouble
especially if you dream
when what's in your mouth is now going downstream.

[Larry]

Going downstream to the mouth
might be simple except for each waterfall
you encounter going south
because most of them are tall
and the rapids after them will make you stall.

[JustDaniel]

If you're rapid in the stall
you won't hold up the guy who stands there waiting;
if you're not, since he is tall
he might be annotating
those grunts and groans and smells that you're creating.

[Larry]

Creating grunts, groans and smells
means you have major problems with your bowels
but your proctologist tells
it’s much better than the yowls
from cleaning impactions with hoses and towels.

[JustDaniel]

When impactions are cleaned up
you will have had to gather the waste matter
using teaspoon and cup
and the old kitchen platter,
holding a party like that strange, mad hatter.

[Larry]

Hey Daniel, I wrote this first one before you came back and edited your post. I'll come back and post an answer to your new Lira in a bit.


Outside your exhortations,
you must explain variations in the form
when writing your creations
for it doesn’t match the norm
and changing things at this late date will not charm.


new answer...


Party like the mad hatter
and your cup of tea will be the kind you smoke
which will make your brain splatter
while you’re coughing as you choke
and Alice asks you if you’d like one more toke.

[JustDaniel]

I needed one more take
since the previous one didn't have the charm;
those limericks that I make
when a lira would disarm
are like surprising a friend with your forearm.

[Larry]

Friends forewarned are like surprise
at a spry septuagenarian’s party
for his birthday and he tries
to dance like he’s still forty.
He knows what’s coming and is never tardy.

[JustDaniel]

He who knows what is coming
is only comforted if he is prepared,
but if he has been bumming
he is likely to be scared
that he'll be found out to not be unimpaired.

[Larry]

He’s found to be unimpaired
and not crazy like he wants people to think
with his posterior bared,
faces started to turn pink
but not from embarrassment; it was the stink.

[JustDaniel]

When he lifted up his drawers
with embarrassment hardly anyone shrunk
since all of them ran indoors
because the guy was a skunk;
they feared what was about to come from his trunk.

[Larry]

The fear that came from his trunk
was trumpeted because of the mouse he saw.
That myth is one to debunk
and is likely an old saw.
Scaring elephants should be against the law.

[JustDaniel]

Elephants under tables
who somehow become scared by attacking mice
are quite the thing of fables
but your sniffing once or twice
could make you believe that they're indeed precise.

[Larry]

You believe they are precise
when you have someone do your yearly taxes
but you check it over twice
and sometimes that relaxes
but still feel sick and need a prophylaxis

[JustDaniel]

You have a prof with axes
who teaches you survival in the forest
but he didn't pay taxes
or teach you to reforest
so you would teach yourself and became a florist.

[Larry]

To teach or be a florist
a person must read and learn from some big books
so I’ll put that on my list
and if I get some strange looks
I’ll just say the publishers must have been kooks.

[JustDaniel]

If the publishers are kooks
the authors are probably a bit crazy
for scribbling all their pukes
because they were too lazy
to write histories of their calabresi.

[Larry]

Calabresi histories
are written in an Italian dialect
but don’t reveal mysteries
of how their cuisines effect
everyone’s waistline but they seem to connect.