Lira Options

[JustDaniel]

He proposes to get it
then wonders what in the world he was thinking;
it's hard for him to admit
that it's lately been shrinking
and he's turning to hanging out and drinking.

[Larry]

If drinking and hanging out
you had better be standing close to the bar
because there is little doubt
bouncers will show you your car
and police will let you know you’ve gone too far.

[JustDaniel]

When you find you've gone too far
you had best check your map and your gasoline gauge.
Your driving has been bizarre
to the bazaar, so assuage
your travel folly and get back on the page.

[Larry]

any travel follies give
new opportunity for an eclectic,
immediate chance to live
countless adventures. Frantic
encounters, when lost, can be a real picnic.




I was trying for an acrostic but the end-rhymes surpassed all degrees of difficulty.

[JustDaniel]

Your picnic encounters lost
all the romance when you brought p b and j;
you needed to count the cost
when you gave her a bouquet
of dandelions... packed Kool-Aid anyway.

[Larry]

Packed dandelions in Kool-Aid
so that when I add the sugar and water
I’ll have an instant lunch made;
dandelion salad starter
with a cool beverage. Nothing is smarter!

[JustDaniel]

Nothing smarts more than a slap
on a hot cheek with a bag of frozen peas
especially if the chap
does it with a special ease
as though you had just asked him to "Hit me, please!"

[Larry]

"Hit me, please!" he had just asked
so the bartender poured him another shot
and wanting to fill his flask
without looking like a sot
said “one for the road” but he didn’t get squat.

[Larry]

He didn’t squat by the road
although the pain in his stomach said he should
but he needed a commode
with paper to do some good
because it is softer than a piece of wood.

[JustDaniel]

Pieces of soft wood will chafe
that private and gentle part of one's body
so it is best to be safe
in forest or in wadi
to save up tissue, no matter how shoddy.

[Larry]

To save up shoddy tissues,
one must make sure they are in usable form
but what might become issues
is that saving’s not the norm
and you could be spreading diseases that harm.

[Larry]

Could spreading diseases be
what aliens are doing to all mankind
throughout the earth’s history
while they are trying to find
a cure for their food sources before they dined.

[Larry]

Before they dined, food sources
were explored to find something they wished to eat
then set down to six courses
and when dinner was complete
they sought comfort rooms due to strange tasting meat.

[Larry]

Seeking comfort in strange rooms
is what happens at every bachelor party
where the best men and the grooms
pretend good times are hearty
but men have mid-life crises when they’re forty

[JustDaniel]

Midlife crisis at forty
leaves some men alone and lonely at fifty
trying to raise their shorty;
they sometimes become shifty
but usually end up just being thrifty.

[Larry]

To be thrifty you must end
all the impulse purchases on shopping trips
and watch out what you may spend
but eat before hunger grips
your brain and tricks you wanting to stuff your lips.

[JustDaniel]

Wary to stuff hungry lips
he avoids visiting the grocery store,
declines late night shopping trips,
buys no candy like before,
but he still keeps pastry in a secret drawer.

[Larry]

Secrete pastry in your drawer
and you will wish you had gone to the bathroom
for even a candy bar
will smell like an old tomb
when it’s gone through your intestines and goes boom.

[JustDaniel]

When your intestines go boom
your wardrobe can become quite complicated
because you seldom have room
in undies so inflated
by the dependable dam you created.

[Larry]

Create dependable dams
then let artists paint large cracks and holes on it
so the sightseers on trams
think it broke and have a fit;
the money made will enable you to split.