 Haiku, Japanese form |
  |
 Apr 7 12, 18:28
Post
#381
|
|
 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends  |
Western decadence
mixing nature, peopl, things or failed memory Alan Larry, I will never remember which is which, can we assume this thread covers both, please ? Love Alan ·······  ······· |
  
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 00:37
Post
#382
|
|
 Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,722 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Trees and flowers stand
upon their ancestors corpse. Roots are nature's thread. Alan, there is a Senyru thread but nothing has been posted there since Daniel's last post in Sept. '07. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner       |
|
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 02:14
Post
#383
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
GUILT LILY
Roots are nature's thread if peroxide-modified art's poor enhancement Alan Larry, my point is that I get 5-7-5, but I'll never remember content requirements ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 08:25
Post
#384
|
|
|
Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,722 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Enhancing nature
to please evanescent eyes defeats its purpose. Alan, perhaps by merging the two, you might call that subsequent product Senry-ku. I don't want to be overly pedantic but I believe these forums are here to educate and widen the scope of knowledge for those who participate. In doing so, we may all improve upon our capabilities, creativity and skills. Haiku, literally translated, means "amusement sentence". Thus, we write about the amusing or interesting aspects of nature and man's interaction which may or may not have been obvious before reading another person's viewpoint. Senryu is translated as "river willow" and carries the name of it's originator, Senryu Karai. You may, of course, write them however you wish because the differences brought about by westerners trying to emulate the Japanese masters have caused them both to blur into indistinguishable oneness. This, I feel, has deminished both the aspect and impact of their "AWE" moments. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 09:44
Post
#385
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Larry,
Problem is I no longer function very well at say paperwork, keeping to forms, or anything that needs organizational mind-power. As I prefer 5-7-5, alto I know it is out of fashion, I can remember that. Otherwise I do agree with your statement, just can't keep up any more. I still have the sharpness with words, and I hope some skill in expressing thoughts tho. Love Alan Defeat its purpose by agreeing with it all; nature cannot shock Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 14:26
Post
#386
|
|
 Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
darkness at noon
with lightning and thunder... shock and awe ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner      |
|
|
|
|
Apr 8 12, 16:59
Post
#387
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
A shock at dawn -
the sun failed to come up electrics obscured .... Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 9 12, 07:35
Post
#388
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hey, Alan, that's three separate snapshots rather than the expected TWO (One in one line and the other in two, usually; one snap short, the other snap long -- two perspectives of the same AHA moment)
one long vine with three interwoven strands -- move over, Tarzan! ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 9 12, 14:05
Post
#389
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Daniel,
No, only two : A shock at dawn the sun failed to come up; --- one concept electrics obscured .... --- the reason Move over; bargain hunter shoots first No ? Love Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 9 12, 14:30
Post
#390
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Alan @ Apr 9 12, 15:05 )  Dear Daniel, No, only two : A shock at dawn the sun failed to come up; --- one concept Yes, one CONCEPT, but two 'semi'-statements... Maybe something like: shock at dawn as the sun fails to rise; electrics obscured .... --- the reason ... and I don't understand what "electrics' is that caused the sun not to rise?? Move over; bargain hunter shoots first No ? Love Alan Now you have a very apt SENRYU, methinks. Why don't you post it over in that thread!! There's nothing seasonal or natural [ haiku characteristic ]in these snapshots, but they're certainly a page out of human nature! deLightingly, Daniel 
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 9 12, 17:04
Post
#391
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Daniel,
The electrics are all the light pollution the earth streams out, so bad it has come to obscure the sun. A slight exaggeration, of course ! Love Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 11 12, 07:29
Post
#392
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
pollution taints
the light from its source... oh, what a sunset! ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 11 12, 08:43
Post
#393
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
These dirty sunsets
make pollution so worthwhile; regret's for later Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 11 12, 09:55
Post
#394
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
violets litter
the shade with beauty; whisper of sunlight ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 12 12, 16:35
Post
#395
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Beautiful, Daniel.
whispers of sunlight bring frequent April showers into stark relief Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 13 12, 09:41
Post
#396
|
|
|
Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,722 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
In darkness, new leaves
give life and balance nature. Fresh air from poison ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 13 12, 16:04
Post
#397
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Fresh air in prison
therefore we must be near spring; high time to be sprung Alan ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Apr 14 12, 09:47
Post
#398
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Larry @ Apr 13 12, 10:41 ) In darkness, new leaves give life and balance nature. Fresh air from poison Excellent, Larry... but you might make your second line more of a DEMONSTRATION rather than a STATEMENT... and remember also not to use CAPITALS, and usually no PERIODS either. Just a form thing, you know, remembering please that I'm no expert here! ... but a perhaps: in darkness, new leaves spring green against the brown - fresh air from poison deLighting in your observations, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 14 12, 09:59
Post
#399
|
|
|
Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Alan @ Apr 13 12, 17:04 ) Fresh air in prison therefore we must be near spring; high time to be sprung Besides the Capital F, you've done another good ku, Alan... but you're making a statement rather than an observation, from my perspective. How about something in the direction of: fresh air in prison yard whispers to leave; high time to spring high in the spring its bubbles explode... fresh H2O sipping the freshness Lightly, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
|
Apr 16 12, 12:31
Post
#400
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
fresh water, not coke
marks out the true poet not sugary verse Alan So OK OK OK, it's a senryu ! But also a damn good riposte ! ······· ······· |
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 8th July 2025 - 16:19 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
