Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

IPB
> Senryu, Japanese form: 5-7-5 or less
JustDaniel
post Oct 12 04, 04:41
Post #201


Ornate Oracle
******

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,920
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Senryu is a short form of poetry identical in construction to haiku: (three lines with 17 or fewer syllables with a cut after the first or second line forming two related snapshots of an experience of reality), but is generally about human foibles, while haiku references nature. Senryu need not include a kigo, or season word, like haiku (though it seems that much of modern English haiku tends toward senryu; that is, unlike traditional Japanese haiku, it may not necessarily adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable form which may be suitable in Japanese, but which tends to produce long or stilted language in English). A simple rule seems to be, Take a deep breath and read all three lines... cut and all.

I'll offer a couple of examples of my own, however inadequate. Perhaps someone with greater stature would like to add greater insight to this thread.

How I love thee
with breadth, length, depth and height…
but who counts the days?


© MLee Dickens'son 11 Oct 2004


feeling seventeen
your heart pounds out senryu;
you just can’t beat it


© MLee Dickens'son 14 Feb 2004

By the way, I understand that they're often with a bit of humor, so I don't think I'm desecrating the form if I wink a bit.

sharin' a bit o' de Light, Daniel  sun.gif


·······IPB·······

Slow down; things will go faster!

MM Award Winner
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page

Posts in this topic
- JustDaniel   Senryu   Oct 12 04, 04:41
- - Larry   ask doddering son if aging body fails him or just ...   May 18 12, 00:46
- - Alan   aged spirits best for wisdom, also imbibed here i...   May 18 12, 04:20
- - Larry   hair's to ewer health as worms are to spaghett...   May 18 12, 08:18
- - JustDaniel   Indie vestibule - where you enter to pray the last...   May 18 12, 13:49
- - Alan   the cat's tongue laps best consists of endless...   May 20 12, 01:58
- - JustDaniel   Grant drank sleepy-time but it sure wasn't tea...   May 21 12, 08:01
- - Larry   I heard Manny was phobic and fighting against uni-...   May 21 12, 09:45
- - JustDaniel   under-sexed marriage causes many a problem; can...   May 21 12, 11:08
- - Alan   can't put them to bed ? so put them to sleep i...   May 21 12, 12:21
- - JustDaniel   upper crust rule: don't burn the top slice of ...   May 22 12, 08:47
- - Alan   offer grilled goat's cheese but also make sure...   May 22 12, 12:52
- - JustDaniel   if captive is staked he'll be a good investmen...   May 22 12, 13:39
- - Alan   stake him in business til filleted with failure ca...   May 22 12, 14:02
- - Alan   stake him in business til filleted with failure ca...   May 22 12, 15:32
- - JustDaniel   cash in your purse... to purchase a wallet; a bit ...   May 22 12, 16:42
- - Alan   a bit more manly which dangles true temptation not...   May 22 12, 23:17
- - Larry   knot's easy to find unless you have been knock...   May 22 12, 23:26
- - Alan   when you 'wooden' know then you must be 6 ...   May 22 12, 23:34
- - JustDaniel   pines you have to lease will simply never be yew; ...   May 23 12, 00:28
- - Alan   Once again Daniel, GENIUS ! to bet your hedge...   May 23 12, 00:47
- - Larry   wild Rosie has packed her stabs at fun were always...   May 23 12, 14:59
- - JustDaniel   a throne on its side could be unsettling... who ha...   May 24 12, 15:32
- - Larry   hoo-hahs in the rain dampen the controversy what ...   May 25 12, 00:06
- - Alan   what hair, what hair-do fashion, fusion, or fake i...   May 25 12, 01:27
- - JustDaniel   sew chopped-up cloth to create a patch-work quilt ...   May 25 12, 07:50
- - Alan   a winter stitch-up balloon coat to keep you warm h...   May 25 12, 08:21
- - JustDaniel   don't blow me off said the chip on his shoulde...   May 25 12, 08:30
- - Larry   I foam the cold bock two heads are better than one...   May 25 12, 08:42
- - JustDaniel   thoughtless love from beer consumed among stranger...   May 25 12, 08:50
- - Larry   It gets still stranger at Adams Family bash Mortic...   May 25 12, 09:11
- - JustDaniel   when mortician lurched his ire began to fester; ad...   May 25 12, 09:40
- - Larry   Adam's apple thoes come from a rib extraction ...   May 25 12, 22:15
- - Alan   while sleeping one eye remains alert to the world ...   May 26 12, 03:58
- - JustDaniel   mine's remains closed to further digs; ore no ...   May 26 12, 10:07
- - Alan   aura is no more than the truie being itself longin...   May 26 12, 23:04
- - JustDaniel   along for the dawn water precipitates; a morn of g...   May 27 12, 07:51
- - Larry   I mourn of greeting empty places in my mind filled...   May 27 12, 14:25
- - JustDaniel   field of dead men weeps for spent life; the stones...   May 28 12, 11:26
- - Larry   theist ones cry out there is a higher power and it...   May 29 12, 23:13
- - JustDaniel   a snotty eye -- sure sign of infection: white corp...   May 30 12, 07:36
- - Larry   White corpuscles fill the leukemia patient cellula...   Jun 1 12, 13:53
- - JustDaniel   cell phone miss saps the whole clan's energy; ...   Jun 4 12, 08:48
- - Larry   futility builds poisons fill the city's street...   Jun 5 12, 13:37
- - JustDaniel   flower-bloom despot corners the sorghum market... ...   Jun 6 12, 08:04
- - Larry   spas profit in soaks relaxing and cleaning all mus...   Jun 6 12, 13:54
- - JustDaniel   mussels and whiting with green beans and tomatoes;...   Jun 6 12, 15:57
- - Larry   receding hair looms over the ears like a wave with...   Jun 12 12, 16:14
- - JustDaniel   with no spearmint the twins eschewed a contract; n...   Jun 13 12, 08:57
- - Larry   no wriggles for them birds descend on fresh plowed...   Jun 13 12, 14:32
- - JustDaniel   he is not surly; the man is but a simple irascible...   Jun 26 12, 07:46
- - Larry   a race able couch leaves tracks in the living room...   Jun 29 12, 08:12
- - JustDaniel   retiring with gas he rose at midnight... looked li...   Jun 29 12, 13:21
- - Larry   able imp looked like he might be up to something b...   Jul 1 12, 13:25
- - JustDaniel   a wasp isn't tall but the victims tell tales.....   Jul 2 12, 08:42
- - Larry   to tell tall tail tales one mentions giraffes firs...   Jul 2 12, 15:54
- - JustDaniel   Amazon women will keep you on line; it's one f...   Jul 3 12, 07:41
- - Larry   one forth of its books should have never been in p...   Jul 3 12, 14:58
- - JustDaniel   his cursive fever gives his speech a rough bent; I...   Jul 3 12, 17:29
- - Larry   I swear Helen's right Paris did not abduct her...   Jul 5 12, 22:41
- - JustDaniel   the cantaloupe left, the watermelon right... I...   Jul 6 12, 08:52
- - Larry   the muddle I'm in is receding with each bite m...   Jul 7 12, 16:36
- - JustDaniel   a melon collie watches over the crop... listens to...   Jul 9 12, 06:44
- - Larry   hair longs to listen but moves when it gets eerie ...   Jul 9 12, 08:43
|- - JustDaniel   missus gets good parts of all the table scraps... ...   Jul 9 12, 08:54
- - Larry   Who-Who gets the rest as sunlight decomposes then ...   Jul 9 12, 10:00
- - JustDaniel   the flies on the knight extinguished by his squire...   Jul 9 12, 11:42
- - Larry   a squire is content if he keeps his Magis straight...   Jul 9 12, 15:37
- - JustDaniel   starry, starry night in many of his paintings; whe...   Jul 9 12, 18:25
- - Larry   whorling, his vine grows around the dying oak tree...   Jul 10 12, 12:33
- - JustDaniel   new light harries death; the fresh breath of morni...   Jul 14 12, 08:01
- - Larry   his hungry lunge fills the gaunt space of starvati...   Jul 15 12, 15:43
- - JustDaniel   a fist for today, a finger for tomorrow... hands r...   Jul 15 12, 17:24
- - Larry   pros test hand raising trying to find an answer wh...   Jul 19 12, 11:30
- - JustDaniel   Watt had a question: Can I compute conversion rate...   Jul 19 12, 14:34
- - Larry   energy of frights equals the terrified mass times ...   Jul 19 12, 15:54
- - JustDaniel   speed of flight at times is slower traveling west ...   Jul 20 12, 09:04
- - Larry   backwoods clock wounds heads when the gnomon is a ...   Jul 21 12, 14:42
- - JustDaniel   gnome lessons take time into a new dimension... an...   Jul 23 12, 08:08
- - Larry   ancient guardian protects valuable knowledge and t...   Aug 7 12, 00:04
- - JustDaniel   small mind did what most small minds do: follow th...   Aug 7 12, 07:53
- - Larry   a fellow de-crowed his cornfield with a falcon now...   Aug 9 12, 13:25
- - JustDaniel   northeast raven soon to be more common; smart to m...   Aug 10 12, 07:24
- - Larry   it's smart to move back children with college ...   Aug 19 12, 14:30
- - JustDaniel   knead education into the family dough; bake well i...   Aug 20 12, 08:03
- - Larry   baked well in wife’s ire his heated dispute cooled...   Aug 21 12, 14:08
- - JustDaniel   dog hosed his back; offended garden gnome burned d...   Aug 22 12, 12:14
- - Larry   burning down his house the ashes fell like feather...   Aug 25 12, 16:21
- - JustDaniel   gnome's goose was cooked when they found him w...   Aug 28 12, 08:21
- - Larry   the gnome's angry ruse was dwarfed only by rev...   Sep 3 12, 15:23
- - JustDaniel   trees goblin' homes in the great forest fire; ...   Sep 5 12, 07:31
- - Larry   tell witches to switch from brooms to vacuum clean...   Sep 5 12, 19:13
- - JustDaniel   when porpoises fly the seagulls are nonplussed; th...   Sep 6 12, 11:57
- - Larry   they'll see a butt splash cannonballs in empty...   Sep 9 12, 23:21
- - JustDaniel   he cracked his sternum while tackling their halfba...   Sep 19 12, 07:14
- - Larry   with back to the beach a surfer paddled through wa...   Sep 29 12, 15:33
- - JustDaniel   son sets ride afire at the ocean pier fun park... ...   Oct 2 12, 17:43
- - Larry   dad serves four layer cake every day of the week w...   Oct 4 12, 14:18
- - JustDaniel   with thought for Sunday he charged into the weeken...   Oct 8 12, 16:36
- - Larry   hedgers clash at church evading the obvious pews a...   Oct 11 12, 00:09
25 Pages V  < 1 2 3 4 5 > » 

2 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topicStart new topic

 

RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 2nd July 2025 - 22:29




Read our FLYERS - click below



Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning your writings. ENJOY!

more Quotes
more Art Quotes
Dictionary.com ~ Thesaurus.com

Search:
for
Type in a word below to find its rhymes, synonyms, and more:

Word: