Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Alan]

After chiming a lot, it unwound
leaving workings and springs on the ground
it's now completely dead
and - it just missed my head
my tinkering with works was unsound

Alan

PS A true story, I had just bent down when the clock exploded, bits flying past where my face had been.

[Merlin]

The tinkering-tockering stops
when the mainspring or sprocket gear drops.
Those old days are finished
and time has diminished;
silly* chips now keep time in most shops.

* Silicone

[Larry]

Time keeps them in the silicone shops
where each wrinkle and sag always stops.
The effects they inject
into places suspect
will de-crease and embellish what flops.

[Alan]

IF FEMALE

Some decrease in my belly ? That flops.
And that sagging and sad, that's my chops;
what luck that I'm male,
and well past date of sale,
if female, I'd be opting for ops ....

Alan

[Larry]

Opting for operations suffice
if you wish to look good in a trice
but you won't be content
if you just circumvent
times effects. Exercise once or twice!

[JustDaniel]

If your size has increased by three times
you may find yourself dining on limes
in a vain try to lose
weight from drinking that booze
and engaging in other food crimes.

[Alan]

I engage in so many food crimes
eat carbs and fats, whatever chimes
all these experts on food
won't do me any good
because I come - or go - with the times

Alan

[Merlin]

To flow with the times is okay;
Miss Muffet ate curds laces with whey.
Her tuffet grew bigger –
that altered her figger,
and her knickers won’t fit now – no way!

[JustDaniel]

When you cannot fit into your knickers
you must stop eating Mars Bars and Snickers;
carrots, celery and oats
while your spouse sits and gloats,
though, could cause you to stock up on liquors.

[Alan]

This could cause us to stock up on liquor
'less contractions come any quicker
we're due to have baby
no ifs, buts or maybe
just in time, they got to that vicar

Alan

PS My lovely daughter-in-law is upstairs at this very moment have rapidly increasing contractions.

[Larry]

Though that grotto the vicar deems just
as a surrogate church, I don't trust
his decision one bit
for there's nowhere to sit
but on points where stalagmites might thrust.

[JustDaniel]

The thrust of stalactites can tear
a valley where once you had hair
so stay clear of the cave
though it may be the rave
of the moment; you simply don't dare.

[Merlin]

A barber you don't dare to see
when your hair is a mane used-to-be.
Now an incomplete ring
overhead, winter, spring,
where there’s no place to hide for a flee!

[Larry]

There is no place on hide for a flea
but behind some sparse hairs by the sea
of a pink carapace.
There is way too much space
on that part of the anatomy.

[JustDaniel]

Some anatomy parts I don't know
'cause I dropped from the course ere I'd show
how forgetful I am
on the mid-term exam...
but the dean failed me: woe upon woe!

[Larry]

As a teacher, the dean failed his task
and the woe is on him. One would ask
if he'd helped where there's need.
When the students succeed;
in they're intellect's light he could bask.

[Merlin]

They’re intellects, brighter than lightning,
or a basket case, somewhat more frightning.
Ask their teacher, Ms Dean
who is really a queen
if you want the real truth – that’s excightening!

[Larry]

What's exciting is when the truth comes
there are those who ingest all the crumbs
falling from Ms. Dean's lips
but to some, it just slips
through the vacuum between the eardrums.

[JustDaniel]

If you vacuum into your eardrum
you could suck out your brains; you'd be dumb,
taking no tests at all,
leaning there on the wall
while one chord on your uke you strum, strum

[Larry]

On one chord of my uke, I remain
while the others search each fret in vain.
You may think I am stuck
but the note which I pluck
culminates in the perfect refrain.