Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Alan]

Dear LArry,

Well, I am more into the word-play than the niceties of in or on.

Anyway, on with :

I'd disgust and most likely offend
if literally I went with the trend
of having all hang out
of that there's no doubt
lock me up cuz I'd gone round the bend

Alan

[Larry]

When locked up, look around if you bend;
use your knees not your waist. You might send
a false message to some
who will look at your bum
as a target that vertically grinned.

[Alan]

TOP-SUNNED

It's a target that vertically gunned
by a pilot who is so san-tunned
when quite horizontal
both his back, and frontal
planes ensure that he is never shunned

Alan

[JustDaniel]

It is plain that you're easily stunned
if you stare on the beach while she's sunned
with no bottom or top
on her in-the-sand pop
which she drinks, while her sandwich she's shunned.

[Alan]

As she drinks, and Lord Sandwich she shuns
becaus he makes the most abstruse puns
then wrinkling her pert nose
also twinkling her toes
stealing recipe, away she runs

Alan

[Larry]

As she ran with purloined recipe
the Earl's men who gave chase did not see
that the distance had spread;
she, on horse that was bred
to relish steeplechase destiny

[Alan]

GENTLEMEN'S STEEPLECHASE HOT
The best blow-out in the business

Our Steeplechase Relish is destined
to blow off, your socks, and out, your mind
when it's taste, on your tongue
makes you wish you had none
and friends drown you in beer. If they're kind ....

Alan

[Merlin]

In beer, no matter what kind,
some drown as tho they were blind.
A can or a bottle,
they down it full throttle
and it Shirley befuddles the mind!




[A Pope wrote this to ridicule a poetaster:
Flow, Welsted, flow! like thine inspirer, Beer:
Though stale, not ripe; though thin, yet never clear;
So sweetly mawkish, and so smoothly dull;
Heady, not strong; o’erflowing, though not full.]

[Larry]

I know Shirley, the barmaid who'll skip
'round the bar and the beers never tip.
With her tongue, she can slice
your ego in a trice.
If you're dumb give her some of your lip.

[JustDaniel]

I know nothing of barmaids and such
and their ale I've learned never to touch
'cause o' fam'ly-tree drunks
who threw up in chunks...
so I just steer away, brake and clutch.

[Merlin]

Commendable, JD.


My horse neither clutches nor brakes,
And it leaves clouds of dust in its wakes.
Give him juice of the barley,
off he flies like a Harley!
Whoa is me, it’s me bottom that aches!

[Larry]

Bottoms hurt when astride drunken steeds
whose own headache your soreness exceeds.
Lead a horse to a drink;
stirrup more than you think
sad'll be fate's revenge when glute bleeds.

[Merlin]

Fate’s revenge is much worse than you think,
Ask a codger, he’ll state with a wink,
when a beer drinking horse
breaks wind it’s with force
that the air turns a shade of brute pink.

[Larry]

Flatulence in bright pink? I suppose
the smell did not resemble a rose
but the stench from a sty
full of pigs that drink rye
will burn feathers from low flying crows.

[Alan]

He wears decor from low-flying crows
on his neck, on his shoulders and nose
some folk will call it shit
but those're lacking in wit
refined ones say it's what ill wind blows

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Define what he says as just wind
that blows, leaving hearers chagrinned;
he says nothing at all,
and he'll likely enthrall
no intelligent man who's downwind.

[Larry]

If downwind from a stench, undefined;
most intelligent men use their mind
to assess the extent
and from where it was sent
before losing that on which they dined.

[JustDaniel]

He threw up on the folks he had dined
after showing them he was refined.
Thus his gala had failed,
so again he's assailed;
his position is now reassigned.

[Alan]

His posterior's now reassigned
to a place of a different kind
he got it into gear
said "I am outta here"
now lives a life so much more refined

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Yes, he thinks that his life is refined,
'cause his brain was so long drugged and wined
that he can't see his butt's
'midst those old, dingy huts
or the garbage that's strewn out behind.