Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Alan]

Whenever I sneeze it's a tsunami
changing conditions from quite balmy.
For fast asleep,
their peace for to keep,
I'm exiled to the land of the yanomami.

Alan

[Larry]

Yanomami!!! Could that be a word?
It is one that I had never heard
so I googled and found
it's a tribe, much renowned,
living Amazon life undetered.

[Alan]

INCREMENTAL

Living Amazon life undeterred :
my wife, who when I married, I erred
in thinking gentle
I musta bin mental
now she tells me it's what I preferred !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Now she tells me! I'd rather preferred
this fact earlier; I'd have referred
the matter to you
so you too could stew
o'er advice that you'd given. Absurd!

[Alan]

THE BIRTH OF IMPOTENCE

That advice that you've given :Absurd !
Don't you know when you're given the bird ?
Those wolf whistle calls
that shrink down your smalls
are the most chilling thing ever heard

Alan

[JustDaniel]

The most chilling thing I've ever heard
was the shriek of a hovering bird
just before it swooped down
to bite me downtown...
and since then my speech has been slurred.

[Alan]

MY TEQUILA SUNRISE

And since when has my speech been slurred ?
Why, that day when you gave me the bird
and I in my turn
succumbed to the worm
which crawled on my tongues till they furred

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Witch called on her tongue; it unfurled
'til it twisted around me and twirled
me. I fell on the floor
and she flew out the door
as a cloud of pink goop 'round me swirled.

[Alan]

THE END OF DAYS

As a cloud of pink gin 'round me swirled
I saw that all was well with the whirled
Boy, could they dance
unemcumbered by pants;
that's how civilization unfurled ....

Alan

PS Excuse me folks, I have been wanting to use that America-only rhyme pair since 1993 !

[Larry]

Nothing's wrong with the rhyme "pants and dance"
and it's not just colloquial chance.
Dance will never be "Daunts",
Pants will never be "Ponce";
over here it is mere assonance.

[Alan]

I SAY POT-A-TOES

Over there it is mere assonance,
but in your tongue it rhymes too with aunts
you use the long ass
we prefer it short-arse
to prevent any horrid dissonance

Alan

[Larry]

A short 'arse? Is that something to ride
or a vertically challenged back side?
The long ass that we use
has four legs and steel shoes
and would stubbornly balk 'till it died.

[Alan]

FUNDAMENTALS

An arse is bottom-basic to life
without which we would suffer much strife;
it's two sides never meet
but to scandalise street,
if you want balking, get a wife !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If it's bulking you want, sit your ass
down; do nothing, and you will amass
an increasing large weight,
so that you'll not long wait
'til some priest will be saying your mass.

[Alan]

STAR-BOARD PASS

Soon some priest will be saying your mass
in a voice de profundo or bass
lucky to have got in
despite oodles of sin
to heaven you now have your pass

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If to Heaven you're wanting a pass
don't be sitting around smoking grass
and denying the Lord
whose Word you've deplored;
to Him your smoke-screen is as glass.

[Larry]

Of religion or sports, I eschew
all debate. There is naught one can do.
Having knowledge, complete,
borders on gross conceit.
Things I don’t know… a million or two!

[Alan]

REVERSE

Things I don’t have… a million, and two.
Things I do have, bills, debt, quite a few.
To reverse engineer
this state would be quite queer,
but is something I simply can't do ....

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Butt is something I simply must do
when I find that I'm all in a stew
and I want to act out;
there's surely no doubt
that to act off the cuff is taboo.

[Alan]

THE GOO METHOD

That to act off the cuff is taboo
is something I thought everyone knew.
There's madness in Method
invented by Strasberg
and inspired by one's inner goo

Alan