Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[JustDaniel]

If your heart and your cur love your house
just be sure that you're pleasing your spouse;
she's in charge of the bed;
you could sleep in the shed
with your dog, and then likely delouse.

[Larry]

When delousing your dog you have liked
drying him as you both walked and hiked
so he won’t be real wet
and you’re able to pet
him at home if the wife isn’t psyched.

[JustDaniel]

If your wife is a psycho at home
it's unlikely that you'll find shalom
when your hanging out there;
you'll go out to get air
in the winter and freeze like a gnome.

[Larry]

Like a gnome in the winter you’ll freeze
‘cause your nose is not far from your knees
so for warmth when it snows
you can take out your hose
and then melt all the ice where you please.

[JustDaniel]

If you try melting ice as you please
with a hose, you will freeze to your knees
and beyond, since it's cold.
Who's the one who as sold
you such rot? Let him flap in the breeze!

[Larry]

If you let your flap rot in the breeze,
it will probably hang to your knees
thus exposing your cheeks
but the rotten flap reeks;
I’d ask change your long-johns if you please.

[JustDaniel]

If you don't change your long-johns, you'll smell
even more; you have stunk up the dell
where we live peacefully.
Even Newt's alchemy
could not change how you reek to low hell.

[Larry]

How you reach the low well should not change
if you live on a ranch in La Grange,
get another long rope
for the bucket; you hope
that is not very hard to arrange.

[JustDaniel]

If our furniture's hard to arrange
that should not be so terribly strange
since it's early Goodwill
or escaped the landfill
or obtained as a castoff exchange.

[Larry]

As exchanged, a castoff you obtain
fills the voids in your home that remain
of your furniture needs.
The décor then succeeds
to enhance what was thought to be plain.

[JustDaniel]

If perchance you had fought on the plain
with the air marshal, you'll have the pain
of a shaming arrest;
you were not at your best...
and next time you will travel by train.

[Larry]

If you travel by train the next time
you vacation, it would be sublime
to take one which is slow
for the sights that you know
if you missed them would be a real crime.

[JustDaniel]

It's a crime that you missed the last train;
there's no basis for you to complain.
It was there right on time;
you had only to climb
up, but you sat and sipped your champagne.

[Larry]

As you sipped your champagne you sat up
for her navel was an empty cup
and each cold body shot
was just making her hot;
get a frosty glass-full she can sup.

[JustDaniel]

Saw your frosty glass; I said, "What's up?"
You said, "Do you like my blowup?"
I ignored your reply,
rolled my eyes to the sky,
and embarrassed, left you to hookup.

[Larry]

Left to hookup, it embarrassed you
for you didn’t know what else to do
when she asked you to latch
up her bra but the catch
was concealed and you don’t have a clue.

[JustDaniel]

Brain's congealed, and you don't have a clue
what you're doing; I think that it's due
to the pipe that you're smoking,
and I am not joking.
Your bong is so wrong, buckaroo!

[Larry]

Buckaroo is so wrong and the bong
innuendoes are all a bit strong
for I laid down that life
when I got a good wife
and if you think I lie you’re ding-dong.

[JustDaniel]

Offer me a Ding-Dong? Let it lie
on the table; my weight's way to high.
I cannot eat the sugar
or starch there, you bugger!
And please give me not one French fry.

[Larry]

I would never give you one French fry
nor a bite from a sweet apple pie
for it’s cruel, I would say
to tempt you in that way
and besides, your cholesterol’s high.