Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

All the things that are standing outside
should be pruned and it can’t be denied
that all bushes and trees
fill with wood ticks and fleas;
to be safe apply insecticide.

[JustDaniel]

Is it safe to use insecticide?
Aren't your risking your brain to be fried
when you're eating the fruit?
Or perhaps that will suit
you as aging sets in and you hide.

[Larry]

If you hide as your aging sets in
and your friends wonder where you have been
they call to discover
that you’re under cover
with turkey neck and double chin.

[JustDaniel]

If the turkey neck drips on your chin
after cooking it all day in gin
it's no wonder you're sloppy
and your belly's floppy
and friends ain't around... even kin.

[Larry]

If your kin and your friends ain’t around
due to many a flatulent sound
then you might use a diet
of baking, don’t fry it
or gaseous fumes will abound.

[JustDaniel]

If abounding in gaseous fumes
it won't do just to air out the rooms;
you must go to the source
where those bursts come with force.
Strike a match there to burn off the plumes.

[Larry]

Strike a match there to burn off the plumes
of the poor frightened Ostrich who zooms
to the river’s relief
but its pain is real brief
for smoked meat’s what the gator consumes.

[JustDaniel]

If the gator's consuming smoked meat
his skin purse must be deep, or deceit
keeps his own flesh in tact;
if he does, it's a fact
that his rear will be soon incomplete.

[Larry]

That his rear will be soon incomplete,
thought the husband who ran down the street
and his wife right behind him
with gun to remind him
that death might come after you cheat.

[JustDaniel]

If your wife says that cheaters must die
as her gun-sight has you in her eye
you must quickly dissuade her
as with proofs you persuade her
that you're faithful as warm apple pie.

[Larry]

If you’re faithful as warm apple pie
then I think you’re well-rounded guy
who is overly nice
but okay by the slice
and feel crumby whenever she’d cry.

[JustDaniel]

When she cries, if you break up in crumbs
you should go out and purchase some mums;
without saying a thing
they could send her awing...
and who knows what your marriage becomes?

[Larry]

Andy knows what show marriage became
when he joined with old Amos for fame
on Vaudevillian stage,
they were comedy’s rage
‘till the bigots got mad; what a shame.

[JustDaniel]

What a shame that those fagots went mad
and shot flames in the fire that you had
just calmed down for your cooking,
so now you are looking
at burgers and chicken black-clad.

[Larry]

A black clad chicken burglar broke in
to what he thought was a poultry pen
but the place where he schlepped
fighting roosters were kept;
he was sliced and fileted for that sin.

[JustDaniel]

If your sassy filleting's a sin
leave to others the fine kitchenin';
just contribute where you
ain't so likely to screw
up the works with your friends and your kin.

[Larry]

If you work with your kin and your friends
then the job that you have never ends;
nepotism’s the rule
they don’t teach you in school
and it lasts till you’re wearing depends.

[JustDaniel]

If you're finally wearing Depends
you'll be thankful for her who attends
to your needs at your house
where you're meek as a mouse
and have certainly made your amends.

[Larry]

If you’re certain amends have been made
then you can face your wife, unafraid
that new implements bought
for the kitchen has caught
all her rage and you won’t be fileted.

[JustDaniel]

If you're fearing you may be filleted
I'd suggest that you not be afraid.
It takes far too much work
to cut up a live jerk;
best to join in the chopping brigade.