Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

On nights out with your Honey, sub lime
for your aftershave; there’s an enzyme
that’s contained in the fruit.
Aphrodisiac’s moot!
Your sweetheart’s a sweet tart every time.

[JustDaniel]

A tart is a nubile young lass
not ashamed to be shaking her ass
wearing stockings thigh-high
dressed for catching your eye;
if you see her, best speedily pass.

[Larry]

If you see her breasts speedily pass
it’s because the implants were a mass
of hot air in balloons
that made them look like moons;
best look out… she has two in her ass.

[JustDaniel]

Don't be fooled by the tart of that lass
or her come-ons, or even her sass;
it is best to avoid
lest your soul be destroyed
when you're caught in resultant morass.

[Larry]

The result of more ass is you’re caught
in expensive diet plans that you bought
which help alleviate
gaining any more weight;
efforts never reveal what you sought.

[JustDaniel]

Will the diet plans bring what you've sought?
It's more likely you'll curse what you've bought,
'cause the fat doesn't melt;
with each pinch it is felt,
and it's harder to walk than to squat.

[Larry]

If you squat with a walker it’s hard
to get up from the john so retard
your concerns with a rail
you’ve installed so your tail
can arise like old folks in a ward.

[JustDaniel]

They'll arise like old forks in the drawer
who then leap till they land on the floor;
they protest their ill-use
till their tangs are recluse;
the old folks can't get up their amour.

[Larry]

The old folks can’t get up their amour
for when petting they don’t know for sure
where some things are these days;
they have moved in strange ways
so to find them, they’ll still take the tour.

[JustDaniel]

If you're taking the tour just to find
where the last time you had it confined
I suggest you lie down
without wearing your gown
and let nature take how it's inclined.

[Larry]

Letting nature take hold, it’s inclined
to reverse everything man’s designed
with some greenery that eats
all the buildings and streets
until you cannot tell where they dined.

[JustDaniel]

If you can't recall where you dined
it's because of the volume you wined
after eating your stew;
it's apparent that you
had too much... and your taste ain't refined.

[Larry]

Had too much when refining your taste
and you’ve never let things go to waste
but the winery staff
cut your samples in half
‘till their stores which you drank were replaced.

[JustDaniel]

They replaced and restored what you drank
when you joined the fraternity prank
with sorority gals
and your scruffy old pals;
it's no wonder your old row boat sank.

[Larry]

Wonder why rowboats sink when they’re old?
It’s because of the heat and the cold
they endure. It’s not strange
when wood boards rearrange
to baptize Sunday sinners, I’m told.

[JustDaniel]

Sunny sinners baptize at the bay
after having a romp in the hay
at the family farm
where no one was done harm
never mind what parishioners say.

[Larry]

The parishioners said, “Never mind!”
when they’d treated the pastor unkind
with their offering checks
which the banker rejects;
seems that most of them were left unsigned.

[JustDaniel]

If you find that your check is unsigned
when your purchasing's been out of mind
you should say, Praise the Lord!
and then get back on board
of the therapy you've been assigned.

[Larry]

If it’s therapy you’ve been assigned,
is it due to your body or mind?
Would your psychiatrist
like to hug and be kissed
before ruling you must be confined?

[JustDaniel]

If their ruling of you is confounded
by the problems that you have confounded
then perhaps you should breathe
and your sword again sheathe;
say you're sorry and merely be grounded.