Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

Half-way down in a hole and you’re stuck
to your knees in some oily black muck
just bend over and smell
and you might get to sell
the black gold you have found; make a buck.

[JustDaniel]

With that black and gold clay make some bricks
which are better for building than sticks;
ask ol' Pig number two
whose house went all askew
when Wolf blew his place down just for kicks.

[Larry]

Just for kicks, the wolf places some down
from the goose he consumed near a town
just outside a small wood
for sweet Red Riding Hood
so he'll have a soft place for her gown.

[JustDaniel]

In her gown he would spy a soft place
that was covered with nylon and lace
but he couldn't get there
'cause her scream was a blare
and the woodsman was coming apace.

[Larry]

If the woodsman was coming apace
I would think, for Miss Hood, he would race
to stop wolf’s swift advance
in removing her pants.
Did his speed cause the woodsman’s red face?

[JustDaniel]

While the woodsman was racing with speed
big bad wolf shrunk in fear; would impede
what his claws tried to do
'cause he was in a stew
thinking he'd be its meat... nearly peed!

[Larry]

When his heart disagreed with the meat
and his vegetables couldn’t compete
with the cake in the oven
he saw his wife shove in
and knew that his meal was complete.

[JustDaniel]

Hey, what meal is complete without bread?
Can't you ever get that through your head?
Sure I know we'll stay fat
but if we were Jack Sprat
wouldn't our wives be heavier than lead?

[Larry]

If our wives are as heavy as lead
then I think it is best left unsaid
so that when we make love
she’s below, not above
and we’ll both need a sturdier bed.

[JustDaniel]

If you're needing a sturdier bed,
toss the box springs; use plywood instead
with a 2x4 frame
and your wife will exclaim
how much easier to mount when you've shed.

[Larry]

If you mount in the shed on some hay
it’s much softer when you want to play.
No, I’m not being coarse,
I’m discussing a horse
which you saddle and ride every day.

[JustDaniel]

If I saddled a horse every day
you'd assume why I'm looking this way
with my bow-legged gait
(though the right one is straight);
left fake knee's worn out, so it strays.

[Larry]

With your fake knee astray and worn out
and that bow-leg gait you talk about
has your legs say O – K
when you walk or you play
don’t use caps so you won’t seem to shout.

[JustDaniel]

If I never use CAPS when I shout
who will know what I'm angry about?
Would it work if I'd tweet
always being discreet?
I'm afraid that I have a great doubt.

[Larry]

If you’re having great doubt and you fear
you must shout for some people to hear,
use your diaphragm more
like you’re singing a score
and each whisper is heard far and near.

[JustDaniel]

If a whisper is heard in your rear
just be sure that a bathroom is near
if you're old; it will spurt
then there'll be a great blurt
when it blows out. It will; never fear.

[Larry]

When it blows out, it will; never fear
if you’re running on tires front and rear
with severe lack of tread.
Are you out of your head?
Might as well drive and drink Jack and beer.

[JustDaniel]

If you're driving with Jack and you veer
off the road so you won't hit a deer
you could blame it on Daniels
or your run-off spaniel...
but you may end in jail some time near.

[Larry]

Near a jail where folks end up sometime
when they have been convicted of crime
there’s a business that thrives
on unfortunate’s lives
and charge you seven cents on each dime.

[JustDaniel]

If you lose all your sense for the dime
that the girl overcharged you, then climb
of your high horse; sit down,
take deep breaths, look around.
Isn't night out with Honey sublime?